Temple Bound
God's children are searching in greater numbers for answers and hoping for miracles as they look to Jesus Christ for relief. On 'Temple Bound,' hosted by Will Humphreys, explore how temples offer not just solace but also powerful tools for navigating these turbulent times through faith in Jesus Christ.
Tune in every Monday to hear Will Humphreys engage with guests who bring inspiring stories, profound teachings, and insights into accessing divine guidance through temple service.
Each episode promises to enrich your understanding and strengthen your connection to the Savior in unique and transformative ways.
Whether you're seeking answers, yearning for peace, or in need of a miracle, 'Temple Bound' is your weekly spiritual refuge, helping you anchor your soul to the Savior. Join us on this sacred journey to deepen your faith and discover the blessings of temple worship.
Temple Bound
Cali Black on Compensating Blessings and Why God Still Shows Up When You Can’t
In this heartfelt episode of Temple Bound, we dive into the transformative power of love both divine and human, in navigating life’s challenges. Cali Black share personal stories about the temple as a place not just for answers, but for feeling deeply loved and strengthened, even in confusion and trial.
We explore the powerful concept of compensatory blessings, blessings God provides to fill in what we have lost or to help us persist when life feels overwhelming. These blessings aren’t about perfection or earning favor, but about God’s perfect love meeting us exactly where we are.
Whether you’ve ever struggled with feelings of worthiness, perfectionism, or burnout, this episode reminds us that leading with love, whether in parenting, relationships, or self-care is the foundation for healing and peace. We also talk about the adversary’s tactics of shame and how the gospel’s message of mercy and justice offers hope beyond our mistakes.
Key Topics Covered:
- The temple as a place of peace, not just answers
- The principle of compensatory blessings and how God compensates for what we lack
- Overcoming toxic perfectionism and self-criticism
- Leading with love in parenting and relationships
- Understanding God’s justice and mercy
- Finding hope and strength in Jesus Christ amid trials
Tune in for uplifting insights on how the temple, scripture, and Christ’s love help us carry our burdens and find joy in the journey.
Welcome back to Temple Bound. You guys. We have a power episode today. I'm so pleased to introduce Callie Black. She is the host of the One Minute Scripture Study podcast. She also has an Instagram page on Come Follow Me Study, so you probably know her from those two avenues. But today we're talking about justice and mercy. We're talking about these concepts of how to view ourselves and others, and I can tell you from personal experience in reading the talk that we discuss and applying their principles. I've had a massive upgrade in how I view myself and how much mercy I give others, while still giving room to give ourselves a little bit of a push to do what's right and be a little bit better. Enjoy the show, Callie. Thank you so much for being on Temple Bound. It's so great to have you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm so excited to be here. Thanks for inviting me.
Speaker 1:Oh man, this is such a treat. As you know, we've obviously had your husband on the show already, and this is an interesting talk. This one has really made an impact for me, like I shared with you before already, so why don't you introduce the talk and why you picked it?
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely. So. I picked by Bishop Gérald Cossé, presiding bishop. Well said, yes, my high school French is coming in clutch here. But his talk from the April 2025 conference called Compensating Blessings compensating blessings, and I loved this talk. When I heard him give it, like immediately, as I'm like taking my notes during general conference, I'm like this is what I need to dive into. Like this is a good one, because it's not a topic we talk about a lot, it's. I wasn't like yeah, okay, I've I've heard this a million times. I'm like what is he saying? Like that's really interesting. But it also just felt so right, like everything was connecting, and I felt like I made a lot of connections with when I have desperately needed compensating blessings and I've realized, oh, that's what it was Like that's really what it is.
Speaker 2:And so, as I listened to it the first couple times and then when you asked, you know what should we dive into? I'm like this is it it talks. It's talking about the temple. It is so closely related to the temple and what we do there, and also, I think, our experiences attending and worshiping the temple, um, and the covenants we make there that affect what blessings you receive. I just thought it was all tied together.
Speaker 1:So yes, and I love that aspect because I didn't catch that the first time. I heard it the second time it was very much about how the temple is the ultimate example of this thing called compensatory blessings. But what I saw was how we are in the same need of those types of blessings in this life and in my world. I could tell you it was just amazing how those little things we call those I think a common phrase we've heard is tender mercies yeah, you know, those tender mercies those coincidences is what we're referring to are these blessings that Heavenly Father gives us when we're trying our best but we just are falling short or like our circumstances are harder. Like the sister before him in general conference said, you know that our gradient of our dive is so much harder.
Speaker 1:Those degree of difficulty is so much harder and so, yeah, so why so? That's why it spoke to you, and then, from your experience you've been in young women's, you've done these different things have you found that the youth is a group of people that struggle sometimes with seeing this element of the gospel?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think that's true. So often we get stuck in this like I perfectly obey something in order to get a blessing right. Like I've got to bring my perfect obedience to then get this perfect blessing back right. Like I have to read my scriptures every single day and not miss a day in order to get the blessings of consistent scripture study, and we kind of just get that ingrained in us and the youth. I feel like it's just kind of rampant. Is this toxic perfectionism where, whether we're overtly teaching that or not, like they're just kind of getting this message of like okay, well, only if I go to the temple this often am I going to be blessed? And so this message of like, okay, you, you are going to be blessed if you read your scriptures every day, but also if you can't because you fell asleep one day, there's comp, there's compensating blessings that are going to be there to to help you, because you have the righteous desire beneath that, and when we focus on what our heart really wants Elder Holland has talked about that so many times right, like, what's your desire?
Speaker 2:What do you want more than anything? And if we get the youth to be like do you want to learn about Jesus. Yeah right, like, do you want to know God? Do you want a closer relationship with them? You'll find it in the scriptures. So like, lean into that and have fun with it and enjoy it. And if you can't, because of X, y, z, that happened that day, or you know, I was out at prom and I didn't read my scriptures that night, or whatever it is that is happening, it's like you don't lose all of those blessings because of one little mistake. So I do find that that's a big lesson for the youth.
Speaker 1:Well, forget the youth. I needed to hear that today, kelly, as you were saying that right now, I'm like I think that was a perfect, inspired example, because it's those small routine things that oftentimes we beat ourselves up on. I was, as you know, I'm an entrepreneur, and there's this guy named Gary Vee who was talking about consistency and he talked about this graph and he showed a graph of what people think consistency is and it was a bar graph where all the bar graphs were perfectly level. He said but truly think consistency is, and it was a bar graph where all the bar graphs were perfectly level. He said, but truly, what consistency is? And he showed the straight line that was marked, but the bar graphs would be above it, below it, below it, above it, below it.
Speaker 1:It's the effort, it's that, and then the Lord knows that. I think for me it's interesting how you phrase that, how the blessings of constant, consistent scripture reading are still ours through the atonement, if our heart is there and we're trying and we're making an effort. I think this is obviously, you know, ruling out any of the stuff that like, yeah, I should get to that and they don't really care.
Speaker 1:But if we really want to receive those blessings and we're trying our best, we're falling short. I can tell you for me, even the adversary uses that. I think people forget too. It's not them, even though it's internal. It's the adversary saying oh, you missed it, you're not good enough, you're never going to have a chance to get all the blessings. Look at so-and-so on social media and I think that's really a big pull for that. And since you are on social media, I mean the coolest thing about you being on this show is the insights you bring and the context in which you come from, because social media is this tool that the adversary is using to do the opposite message. Right, right when the youth are hearing, they're seeing kids live their perfect lives as a member of the church and then they're beating themselves up. So from your perspective, you know how kind of more of a social media question. How do you feel that you should leverage social media in a positive way? A little bit off topic, but I'm curious what you think about that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I find that sharing anything positive and uplifting is helpful. The problem with that is then, when we only look at these positive things that other people are posting, you start to think, well, that's their whole life, like they're just posting insights from the scriptures. So I started my Instagram account and I started sharing insights I'm learning from the scriptures. And then I started getting comments of like wow, callie, you're just so good at scripture study and I can never do this. And you're amazing, yeah. And all of a sudden I'm like whoa, whoa, whoa, this. And you're amazing, yeah. And all of a sudden I'm like whoa, whoa, whoa. Like I don't want to be the problem where people think that I've got it all figured out and like making them feel bad for themselves because they're not having this amazing spiritual spirit every time they're in the scriptures and I realized like, how do I, how do I solve this?
Speaker 2:And I I took that very seriously because sometimes I think people think the answer is share, share the messy stuff in the middle.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I totally think that's what people do they overcompensate and they show the tears and the drama Right, like, let me show the really hard times and the bad times.
Speaker 2:And what I finally landed on was I can't control what other people perceive about me and I am going to share good things. And you know, if other people are struggling with that weight of like, oh, I'll never be good enough because of X, y, z, then that's a journey. They need to go on and take that to the Lord and and figure out how to to deal with those emotions. But it doesn't mean I'm not, I'm not going to stop posting and I'm not going to post. I don't know. I post realistic tips, like it's not like I stray away from realistic stuff, but I'm not leaning into the negative, the hard stuff, all the time that I'm sharing publicly. I don't know if that really makes sense.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, that was a great answer because I think, for me, life experience brings to me a constant reminder whenever I'm starting to feel that comparison.
Speaker 1:I'm almost 50 years old now, right, like I look at people who are online when I am in that space and I'll do what everyone does and compare, but at my age I look at that and I go I don't know what they're struggling with, but we're all struggling with something and I kind of am able to quiet that negative voice of the adversary because it's there for the youth. Like you said, it's a journey that we all have to go on because it's there and it's really useful to have people just still produce light Because, again, you know, when people are critical, when people are negative in any way, it's always a great reflection of them than it is about us and in this case, when they're self-critical, it even more so is about them. So, yeah, it's interesting how that works because the adversary, I think, has got the opposite message of this compensatory blessing thing. If the savior is all about saying hey, listen, I just want you to want it. If you're trying your best and you want it, I'll give it to you, right.
Speaker 1:It reminds me of my kids wanting something as a kid, as children wanting things and not quite being able to earn it. You know those types of stories, but the adversary's approach is very opposite. It's like oh, you missed it once. You are worthless, how dare you even think You're such a loser? Is the language that he uses in our heads. Yeah, so I love this talk. It talks so much about these compensatory blessings and I loved his opening story about how he was running on a military assignment to go hear Elder Maxwell talk at a talk. Why don't we review that a little bit? Why don't you paraphrase it for the audience?
Speaker 2:Sure, yeah.
Speaker 2:So he was in the French Air Force, I believe, and he knew Elder Maxwell was going to be there and he was so excited which I just feel like we can relate to that so often Like we have something where like, yes, I can't wait for this, and then he gets an assignment that he has to drive this top military leader somewhere important at the exact same time, and that let down of like oh, I was like so excited for that, I knew that was going to be good, and yet here's something that I can't control that just came up and so he went and he took, he did his assignment and he said he arrived when there was five minutes left of the meeting and that as he arrived, he heard I want to find what he said here, because he heard Elder Maxwell, right at the very end of his talk, say here we go, I will now give you an apostolic blessing.
Speaker 2:And bishop cose says in that instant he just felt the spirit so strongly he was overcome by the spirit. The words of the blessings seemed to penetrate every fiber of my soul, as though they were meant just for me. Um, and the lesson, he says, is when circumstances beyond our control prevent us from fulfilling the righteous desires of our hearts, the lord will compensate in ways that allow us to receive his promised blessings wow so good.
Speaker 1:yeah, and it's interesting that the part that he heard was that promise at the end, like if there was one thing that mattered most, it was that and the Lord made that happen in the Lord's timing. Yeah.
Speaker 2:But, yeah, I love that. Isn't that nice that he like came in at the end and there was a blessing right at that moment. But there's something about the spirit that can testify to us. This was for you. Yeah, like Elder Maxwell saved this blessing for the last five minutes for you, and you can know that.
Speaker 2:And it's one of those things where it doesn't logically make sense and you're probably not going to be able to communicate that to someone else in the same way, although I think you did a great job in this talk, but, like you, you you can't always like shout it to the world of like this is what happened, but you know in your heart that God is saying that that was specifically for you, and I think those moments are just, they're holy. They're these special holy moments where we're like I'm known, I'm loved, I'm seen exactly as I am. He knew exactly what I had to deal with. And it's those moments that I think are just indescribable, like to feel that divine connection, and you really can't share them with other people because they're just so sacred.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. You know one that I can share really quick, just because I think it's a light example of this and I feel fine sharing. It is one time I remember really struggling in where I was in life and I went to the temple and it was one of those moments where it was just kind of like really down in the dumps and feeling unseen and heard. And I think that's a common thing, for me at least, when I'm feeling down is just that like I'm neglected. And I remember going to the temple and I remember walking in and I was doing initiatories because I didn't really have a lot of time or felt like I did, so I was doing them bare minimum of what I could do that day.
Speaker 1:You know, I barely changed my shoes. So I get in there and um and in the rotation my dad pops in and and, and I didn't even know he was a temple worker, which says a lot about our relationship, dad, if you're there, I didn't know, I didn't even know you're working at the temple and and I'm sitting there and he and he and he, just he just smiled. You know he couldn't say he wasn't like oh hey, it's you. It was just kind of like this loving smile and the spirit was so strong because, like you said, it was more than just seeing my dad, who I am really close to and I was just kidding with.
Speaker 1:At the end of the day, it was this loving reminder and I felt the spirit from head to toe that there wasn't like an answer given to me to solve the problem, which is so much my experience in the temple, kelly. I go there looking for answers and what I ended up finding is that I'm strengthened to continue to persist in the confusion, or peace in the confusion. And, yeah, that was one of those moments where I just felt that spirit and I related to that with Elder Kosei. Elder Kossé, it's not Cossé Cossé.
Speaker 2:Bishop, yeah, bishop Cossé.
Speaker 1:I should get it right if I'm doing a podcast.
Speaker 2:Bishop.
Speaker 1:Cossé. I loved how he talks about that and he talks about how these compensating blessings are founded on three principles, which I thought was so great. Why don't you share one of those principles and a little bit why that matters?
Speaker 2:Yeah. So the first one is that God loves each of us perfectly, and I can relate to what you were saying about going to the temple and you're like, you're wanting an answer and most of the time, what I just feel is loved.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I feel loved, I feel perfectly loved and I think you know, as I relate to raising children and, like you, sometimes are like I need to correct them on what they're doing and I need to teach them this and you know you're like overwhelmed with all these things you need to do and at the end of the day, they just need to be loved, they need to feel that love.
Speaker 2:Like I need to show it so that they can feel it. And when, when we start with love, everything else falls into place. Like the hard conversations just happen. I don't know, they're not, they don't seem like quite as hard or the direction naturally just comes. But like when I start from this place of love, it makes it so much easier to communicate and I think Heavenly Father shows us that perfectly that I'm sitting in a temple and I know I'm not perfect and I know all the things that I'm working on and all these mistakes and I don't know what to do. And when I just feel loved, loved, I'm like my heart is yours, yes, I'll do, I'll do whatever. Like my will is thy will, let's do something like let's make it happen. And I just feel so much more motivated to want to change, more than if I was told Callie, here's everything you're doing wrong and here's exactly how you need to fix it, it's just like I'm just loved.
Speaker 2:And because I feel that love, I am purely internally, intrinsically motivated to change.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's so interesting you say that I was reading this book years ago when my kids were little. It's one of my favorite parenting books. That's name is alluding me right now as my audience is going remember, but I need to know, yeah, it's, oh, true love in parenting, true love in parenting, true love in parenting.
Speaker 1:Hence the name.
Speaker 1:And in the book it talks about, it's not people of our faith, it's just talking about where imperfect people are raising imperfect people.
Speaker 1:The number one reason why we act out as parents is, number one, because we were taught it, but number two, it's because we don't feel loved.
Speaker 1:And so it's interesting because in that book, callie, it talks about how, when we are in a place of like frustration and anger maybe we're starting to catch ourselves, snap a little the most important thing is to go find a source of love, to receive it, because we're, we have a need to receive love, and so if we're not honoring that, then we use anger, frustration, drama, whatever else we can use to get power, which is almost the it is the adversaries approach to things, and so, um, as you were talking it, just let me realize for the first time, like wow, that that's what a beautiful reminder of what the temple is.
Speaker 1:It's a, it's a home where we can find love, and so that we can, when we're needing that love, if we can't find it through other people, which we should look for it, you know, I. The book even says, like, call someone a good friend and just be honest with them and say, hey, I just need some love and attention. I'm struggling with my kids and I feel overwhelmed. And, man, can we all relate to that as parents, especially with you know, callings and businesses it's. It's going to get to a point where we're going to get tired and burned out, and so that that reminder that, like the principle of compensatory blessings being founded on love, is such a hopeful principle, for that.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, what a perfect example for us of yeah lead with love and everything else works out.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I had a coach tell me once too one of my favorite coaches, again, not a member of our faith telling you how great this is out there. Yeah, but she told me she goes. Whenever you're stuck in a position where you don't know what to do, she said, will ask yourself what does love look like? You know what does love look like if I wanted to honor that person who I'm working with, or the person I'm married to, or whatever? Yeah, because in those moments where I'm feeling needy or lacking love, it doesn't look like a successful discussion. Right, right, all right. So principle two take it away.
Speaker 2:Okay, principle two is because God is both just and merciful, and his plan is perfect he will not hold us accountable for things beyond our control.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think I'm going to get that tattooed on my back.
Speaker 2:He will not hold us accountable for things beyond our control. I love that. Okay, weird, random story. But last week my son goes to occupational therapy OT and we've gone for like two years. We love our therapist, she's the best. And she sends me a text that morning and she says hey, our billing department just contacted me. They were trying to call you all day yesterday, but you contacted me. They were trying to call you all day yesterday but you kept hanging up on them. I'm sorry I can't meet with you today because you haven't paid your bill.
Speaker 2:And I'm like, okay, hold on. That was like totally out of the blue and not your personality.
Speaker 2:I'm like I'm looking at my phone, I'm like I have no missed calls. I did not hang up on a billing department, like what is going on? And so I immediately pull up the online portal and there was just something had gone wrong and there was there was a bill there, and so I immediately paid it, made sure everything was all good. And so I call this billing department and I say who I am and this person immediately goes oh, we tried calling you yesterday and you kept hanging up on us every single time and we're trying to get this bill paid and everything. And finally I'm like okay, and clearly she has a picture in her mind of like what happened. And I'm like so I don't have any missed calls. She's like, yeah, because you hung up, and I'm like I like I could tell she wasn't gonna believe me. How did?
Speaker 1:yeah, what do you do when someone's already decided like yeah and so?
Speaker 2:finally, I'm like can you tell me the phone number that was called Because, unfortunately, my current area code is switched digits of the current area code where I live. Anyways, my phone number often causes some confusion. Yes, it causes confusion, and so she even didn't want to read it back to me. She's like no, we checked with your therapist, that's the right number.
Speaker 1:Finally.
Speaker 2:I'm like what can you read the number? And she reads it it's the wrong number, she has the wrong area code, she had switched the numbers and I just very kindly, I just take a breath and I'm like so that is the incorrect number, my number is, and I said it back to her and she goes oh well, you need to pay the bill.
Speaker 1:So no apology. No apology, she's caused problems. Your occupational therapist is frustrated with you because this lady's like hey, she's been sober, she's hung up on me. And then the occupational therapist believed it immediately.
Speaker 2:And she, yeah, and she even told me later she's like I didn't really believe it Cause I know you wouldn't do that, but I still wasn't sure what was going on which, like I totally get Right. And, um, I, finally, I'm like I paid the bill. She's like, oh, let me refresh the page. Okay, you're good, you can be seen today, and that was it. And I was just like I felt so misunderstood and misclassified and judged, just like all these feelings where the conversation ends, and I'm like that's not who I am.
Speaker 2:I'm not someone who just hangs up on you know, this poor person that has a similar phone number to mine is like what are you doing? Like I'm just gonna hang up on you and I felt this is so silly. But I just felt terrible, Like that I had caused all of. I had no idea that for the past 24 hours all these people were getting angry at me and yet I had no idea. And as I read that where it's like the Lord doesn't get you in trouble for things out of your control, you can't control, and I just thought, like man, the Lord would have been like oh yep, I get it, no problem.
Speaker 1:Like you know this it happens.
Speaker 2:I see that that wasn't your number, I totally get it. I see that you wouldn't do that, you know, and that that wasn't the exact reaction that I got from the person I spoke to. But like, how freeing is that to know that? You know, when I have really hard pregnancies I'm very sick throughout them and so I remember just driving past our local Gilbert Temple here and looking at the temple and being like Heavenly Father, I cannot go in there right now, like I am so sick there is nothing I can do in there right now. I promise I will be back as soon as I can.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:And I just felt this like love of, like I know that, callie, like you I know that you can't attend right now, you attend when you can and I just felt so understood, like he knew exactly where I was and and that was okay, and my, my temple attendance didn't look as regular for that long and breastfeeding afterwards that affects it a lot too Like I just have always felt so loved and understood, which is so different than feeling so misunderstood, which is not this perfectionist culture of like having to touch all the points and be perfect and then other people, like an insurance company, chewing you out.
Speaker 1:What an amazing concept, kelly, because, like, as we're talking about this, I feel like I'm getting inspired. It's not the right word, I'm being taught right now through the Spirit as we're talking, because it's like what are the things that we can't control? There's definitely degrees of that for me. I have a good friend of mine who was raised by alcoholics, and he has struggled with a couple of things his whole life. One of them is a perspective of himself. That's not negative, right, when you're being raised by alcoholics, but one of the things that he struggled with greatly was his temper, and it was never well, I shouldn't say never, I think once he acted out on one of his kids years and years before. But as he got older he was able to put that under control, and so it was interesting to watch that journey with him, because he he from where he started. He had made so much progress.
Speaker 1:You know, I think heaven is all about the most improved awards.
Speaker 1:I think there's lots of those awards waiting for us because, you know, as he was so self-critical as he went through this journey, by the time he was raising his younger kids, his younger kids he was completely in control of his temper. He had made so much progress, but he beat himself up over these things. That were they in his control, yeah. But at the same time, there's so much empathy and love for people who were raised in those positions. I just think that should show to us that, yes, there are things that are completely out of our control, but there are definitely times where the cards are stacked against us when we have a choice, but maybe it's easier for other people to choose a certain way than we are, and as long as we're wanting, that's all that matters and to not judge for me being raised in a loving household, if I'm gonna lose my temper to that extreme, like that would be a more serious, yeah, more different thing, whereas I'm like, oh, come on, just hold yourself together like think positive, you're fine right like it's.
Speaker 2:It's different for me. We each have our own degree of difficulty, and so to not judge what other people struggle with, you know, elder uchtdorf said don't judge me because I sin differently than you.
Speaker 2:And like, but yet sometimes we're like, come on, that's, that's not a hard like, that's not hard to avoid. And yet for some people it is, and we don't need to judge that and then focus on our own things that we're working on and realize that other people might not understand that either, because that's easy for them and like it. Just, it doesn't matter as much as we think it does.
Speaker 1:Comparing to each other, yeah, there's some joy in just not knowing what people struggle with. And whenever I find myself comparing, I honestly, like I said earlier, go back to this thing of like I have no idea what they're suffering with, but we're all suffering with something and maybe they are living their best lives and I don't know. But at the same time I don't at least I'm sure you could agree when you get to know people, everyone's got something of a trial that they're just currently working through and it's just different than ours. Yeah, yeah, that's a pretty powerful concept to think about, how these compensatory blessings aren't just for the things we can't completely control, but those little things in between, based on the imperfect way we were raised.
Speaker 1:I remember, as a young men's president, being a little bit judgy in my early 30s when my kids were little. I remember thinking I'm going to be the best parent and sometimes young men didn't come to Mutual and I just remember kind of quiet, I never said anything, but I was quietly like my kids are going to Mutual. And then my kids became teenagers and I was like, OK, this is a lot different than I thought and it's just one of those things where I had a great appreciation and empathy for those people for sure.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely. Once you're, once you get that opportunity to serve and be in their shoes, you're like oh, like being a mom, I'm so much less judgmental than I was before. I was a mom. You would let your kid do that and I'm like, yeah, I would I think our parents get a lot smarter. You know, you go, you knew exactly what you were doing, exactly All right.
Speaker 1:So what's the third principle?
Speaker 2:Let's see. The third one is the best one, of course. Through Jesus Christ and his atonement, we can find the strength to endure and ultimately overcome all of life's challenges. Man, yeah, that's it, that's really it, that's it, that's really it. I mean, I feel like we're always asking some version of the question why do bad things happen to good people?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know like, oh, just my friend the other day. Oh, they got diagnosed with cancer. I can't believe that They've like been so righteous and served and all these things. You know like I think deep down we're all like wait a second. For sure, a good friend of ours, we don't deserve this.
Speaker 1:Brian Shank, who was on the show a couple weeks ago. His son was diagnosed with cancer two years ago and I had the privilege of being with him during that time and it was so much like that. He was our bishop, like all the things, no matter how much from a distance it makes sense, but when it's up close it's really easy to go wait a minute. Why, right?
Speaker 2:Why? Yeah, and I feel like the Lord is just saying you know, first of all, search the scriptures and you'll find tons of people who had bad things happen to them, who were very good people.
Speaker 2:You're going to find that, which, to me, just gives so much hope.
Speaker 2:I love the scriptures.
Speaker 2:They really ground me in seeing the patterns of how God actually interacts with his people and I just see like, oh, bad things almost certainly happen to good people.
Speaker 2:Actually, sorry, but just this idea that when it happens, when the bad stuff, no matter how severe it is, like we can turn to Jesus Christ and we can go to his house and feel of his love and we can just bring those burdens and he knows exactly what we're going through, even when other people might think they do.
Speaker 2:But you're like, you really don't know, he does, and we can just bring those to him and we feel that love and we feel that strength, that power, that priesthood power that each of us can access. When we keep covenants in the temple, we get that priesthood power and that allows us to deal with it and to be sad and to be okay with being sad sometimes and to maybe search for a solution at that one point in time or maybe reach out to someone else who's struggling in the same way. Like we are able to have these terrible experiences sometimes and yet deal with them in exactly the way God would want us to, yeah, to bless other people, or to learn a lesson, or to lift our like. There's not even one lesson that we could learn, but he knows, and that compensating blessing just makes it so that we can handle it.
Speaker 1:I love the idea that compensatory blessings are blessings that are whatever's needed or makes up for what was lost. You know we can't ever. There are certain things that we lose in life, as people who've lost dear ones can tell that there's no getting that back in that way.
Speaker 1:But, there's going to be something. There's going to be a compensation that occurs elsewhere. There's going to be a compensation that occurs elsewhere, and I hear that from those families going back to Brian Shank and his son, hearing all the blessings that they experienced over the next two years. Um, their son, just three days ago, four days ago, rang the bell at the cancer center. So he's officially beat the disease, so he was very blessed in that way.
Speaker 1:But you look at you look at Liam the boy, and you see, you just see this very sanctified young man. You know, this is a consecrated individual who has gone through this journey at such a young age to become like the savior, and so now I think about the way he's going to be a compensatory blessing for millions or thousands of others across his life. As he takes these lessons and he shares them forever, because it'll be a foundation of who he is is the Savior helping him through these trials? And so we all have those trials, right, like we all have those things that we look back on, and it's amazing to think how the Savior can turn even that into something wonderful. Yeah, yeah, I love that blessing. Well, I love the temple, one of the things that he says here. I love this quote, callie, I want to hear your thoughts on this.
Speaker 1:But below those three principles of compensating blessings, he says receiving these compensating blessings comes with certain conditions. The Lord asks us to do all that we can, and I think I want to make a distinction here. This whole like conditional thing is not related to his love, his support, his like cheering us on, but there is this like relationship we have and it's not transactional, it's not like if I do this then he does that, but there is something of a heart set that opens the door that allows us to experience this. So he says, receiving these compensating blessings comes with certain conditions. The Lord asks us to do all we can and to offer our whole souls as an offering unto him. This requires a deep desire, a sincere and faithful heart and our utmost diligence in keeping his commandments and aligning our will with his. So he didn't say perfectly keeping the commandments, our utmost diligence in keeping his commandments. So, yeah, what are your thoughts about this thing about like doing all that we can do? What does that mean to you and how do you think it plays into this?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I. So when I said that, um, attending the temple was hard for me during pregnancies and like breastfeeding stuff, I remember two different state conferences. I feel like state conferences are always about the temple At least ours are.
Speaker 1:I think they're talking the same guy. That's good to know, okay.
Speaker 2:Um, so I remember sitting at a state conference and it's all about the temple, and I'm in the throes of just like terrible sickness and I can't go, and I felt fine, you know like.
Speaker 2:I was like I was like, okay, people, people are talking about attending the temple. That's not something that I can do right now. Let me find other things to do. And I just like, anytime that I would start to maybe feel a little bit of like guilt of like you know, callie, you're being sinful here, or something. I just like would say a little prayer and I'm like, okay, I'm good, like I, I already talked with God about this. He knows where I'm at, he knows I'm returning as soon as I'm able to and I just can't right now, okay.
Speaker 2:But then I remember the next state conference, again about temples, and I had not returned yet and I some things had been going on. It was still hard to attend. But all of a sudden I started to feel like, maybe, maybe I could do better than what I'm thinking that I can do right now. A little bit of a different shift there. Right, it wasn't like I'm good, I talked with God. It was like, hey, callie, I, I think you were good. I think it's time to start pushing yourself, because you can do hard things too, like you, you can sacrifice and make that happen. And I was like, okay, all right, I will sacrifice to make that happen and I was able to slowly start to return with a lot of, you know, sacrifice and hard work. But I feel like when we keep checking in with God, he'll let us know when it's like hey, okay, you got a little too comfortable there. I knew where you were at and now I know you can do more, so let's crank it up a notch.
Speaker 2:Sometimes we like to be nice on ourselves and like I'll ease myself into it and the Lord's like no, I like hard work, I like sacrifice, I like you giving up something and doing something that's really difficult in order to show your devotion and love and that's so good for our hearts and our souls. And so I think sometimes we can veer into like it's too hard for me to attend the temple for X, y, z reasons. But when we take that to the Lord and we pray about it sincerely, like really sincerely, like here's my excuses for inconsistent temple attendance right now, what what's legit, what you know, how do you feel about this? I feel like we truly can have this conversation where it's like you can give me more or not and like we can't judge that from other people. But if we have that conversation straight with God, instead of trying to reason it out like for ourselves just in our mind, I think he'll lead us where we need to go.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think that conversation is the definition. That was a great illustration of that, because I think willingness to have that conversation with the Lord is the definition of all we can do, yeah. Because again, there's two sides of the coin. There's that, there's that like not giving ourselves grace because the adversaries in our head, we're comparing ourselves against perfection versus. You know what I'm just tired.
Speaker 1:I deserve this and I you know what I'll do it next week, like we only we know how to gauge that independently. Um well, I, actually I'm going to disagree with myself. I don't think we even know how to gauge that independently. Only the Lord knows. So that willingness to go to him and just say, hey, what do you feel about this?
Speaker 2:We come up with a plan, usually Like I think this is where I'm at, or not. Do yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Cause I wonder how interesting that would that be if, if the next time I've been going through a crazy time where I haven't gone to the temple in a few weeks and listen, everyone's got their own thing. I live, I could walk to the temple. So don't judge me for anything I do or don't do, but I just hadn't gone and I had opportunities to go and it was a matter of like. When I've kind of had that conversation with the Lord in my head around that stuff, I feel like I'm supposed to make more priority of it. It's not a, it's not a like.
Speaker 1:In this case I don't feel shamed by it, though I don't feel less than it's more like. No man, you can do it. I'm doing the podcast, would that count? But it's one of those things where, ultimately, we have to have that earnest, honest conversation with the Lord on like, how am I doing with this and here's my plan. But we have to make decisions around it first, otherwise, if we go by default feelings, I think the adversary plays in that space with us. It just, you know, helps us feel a lot worse.
Speaker 2:Yeah and like so. Back to the quote, cause it talks about how we do need to be righteous and we do need to be doing our best to keep the commandments. One of my favorite experiences in the temple happened. It was probably 10 years ago. It was before we had kids and I was um. I taught middle school and I was driving home from teaching on a Friday afternoon and my husband and I were going to go to the temple that evening with some friends. So we already had the temple appointment and I would always listen to a general conference talk on the way to work and then I would listen to the radio on the way home from work. That was just like my thing.
Speaker 2:And so Friday afternoon I turn on the radio and I'm like driving home and this song comes on and it was a very popular song at the time and I'm like dancing along to it, whatever as I'm driving. And I started listening to the lyrics and I was like, oh, this is terrible. They're having a lot of fun. What are they saying? I was like, oh my goodness, I had never paid attention to the words and I felt this very strong impression Like turn that music off, sure, and I did it. Interesting.
Speaker 1:I was like I love this episode. This is so fun.
Speaker 2:This is my favorite Tumble experience by far, because I was like it's a popular song, it's not that big of a deal. I listened to general conference this morning, like I'm going to the temple later, yeah, like it's just a fun song, like not a big deal, and I felt the prompting again and I was like I'm just going to finish the song. Okay, fast forward. A few hours later in the temple we were doing an endowment session and we're sitting there and guess what song pops into my head as we're sitting in the temple.
Speaker 1:It wasn't. I Want to Be a Missionary. It was not. I Want to Be a.
Speaker 2:Missionary. No, it was that terrible song that I had listened to before and so immediately I you know I'm doing like humming all the primary songs to try and get it out of my head. You know, like trying to do all my little tricks and I'm like I need to pray, like I this is like jarringly inappropriate. It's infesting.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:In my mind and so I said this prayer. I said, heavenly father, please get this song stuck out of my mind. And here's what he said to me immediately. He said, callie, you can't pray away the consequences for your actions. Wow, and that hit me like a ton of bricks, because I knew what he was saying. I knew he was saying I tried to avoid this, like I, I tried to get this song out of your head a few hours ago and you said no, and here's the natural consequence to that. But then the song was gone out of my head, what? And I felt like he was saying okay, you got your consequence, you know you know what that was.
Speaker 2:You learned your lesson. Now I will make up for that, and that song will be out of your head.
Speaker 1:And I don't. That is a miracle If you've ever had a song in your head for me like there's no getting it out until it just fades out on its own.
Speaker 2:No, absolutely not. And especially, it was like so intense. It was so intense that I knew it was the adversary or my brain, I like it was. It was so strong and I just felt the Lord in that moment be like. You know better. You can't disobey me and expect to just be like, oh, this consequence is hard, please take it away. Like I'm really sorry now. Yeah, yeah, like you've got to, you've got to obey when you see the prompting, like when you feel that prompting, but then also I can see that you're really sorry now.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 2:I will still now make that song go away, like, here's my grace, here is my atoning power. That song is gone. Focus on what you're doing in the temple Worship, have a good experience. Wow. And that I mean from that moment, literally that moment on, I've changed the type of music that I listen to. I like never listen to the radio or popular songs Like I. I am very, um, I've been so sensitive to what music I listened to from that point forward. But also just this beautiful lesson of like we've got to follow what the Lord asks us to do, and if we're not going to do that, we can't always expect him to step in and save us right away, but then if we actually do want him to save us, he comes, he will.
Speaker 2:He will save us Even when we don't deserve it. I did nothing to deserve that blessing. I did everything opposite, actually like, intentionally, on purpose, and yet here he was, meeting your will, still showing his grace. That willingness Like you got to that point of like.
Speaker 1:Just I, really I want your will to be done, I'm desperate, yeah, and you were in the temple. I think what a beautiful illustration of justice and mercy, kelly. Yeah, I think we get that so wrong, this justice and mercy relationship. We think of justice as like judgment and we think of mercy as like never ending consequences yeah.
Speaker 1:It's actually this beautifully intertwined cloth of us being as we're learning it. Not that I've mastered it, but this is what Michelle Bentley calls learning heaven, this understanding of how things operate at a celestial level and us being able to recognize that, yes, there is unlimited mercy and the Lord expects us to be like him. And you know, you know, in today's leadership concepts, they talk about challenge and support. This is like this big diagram. This is like this big diagram and what they say is you know, if we over challenge I would say if there's too much um justice, if you know and no mercy, then there's overwhelm, like especially being imperfect mortals, like if all it was was justice, we would never, ever progress, because how could we ever right the second? We made our first mistake, we were done. But there's this other thing, called over support, where it's enablement. You know, with, with our kids. Oh, here, let me get that for you.
Speaker 1:And you know, especially when you're, when you're raising adult kids I've heard that said like this you know, with an adult kid, what's so hard about that is you see them running towards you know the coffee table going to hit their knee on the corner. When they're younger, you move the coffee table. You tell them no, don't do it. As an adult, you sit back and go. Man, I hope it hurts just enough for them to stop doing that. But you can't interact because you have to let the consequence follow. But the difference between us and the Lord is that beautiful story of like. And yet, after the lesson was taught, he took it away Like what hope, what wonderful, like mercy and praise. That's why we praise his name. What he does for us is so hard to understand. It's impossible to understand.
Speaker 2:It's so wonderful.
Speaker 1:I love that. Well, this talk has been phenomenal. Callie, I can't thank you enough for taking time to be on the show.
Speaker 2:I feel like we could go for another two hours.
Speaker 1:I would love for people to be able to know where to find you. I'm going to say at the intro but how do people follow you and know where you are?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I'm on Instagram. That's my biggest place. Uh, come follow me study. You're welcome to follow me there. And then I also have a podcast one minute scripture study.
Speaker 1:We do daily minute long episodes about the scriptures every day, so yours is going to be the first podcast I listen to, because I don't listen to this one because I don't have. I'm so ADD, I have to have it condensed. So I'm so excited to follow you and, like, listen to that. And yeah, I just want to thank you for creating content like that when you started this right before COVID. Just a quick question on that.
Speaker 2:So when you started this during COVID, what was your initial inspiration to start all this? My initial inspiration was I was serving in young women's and I really wanted to help my young women focus on the come follow me scriptures. As the new program was starting and I initially looked at Instagram accounts and for resources that were out there and the stuff that people were making was how to teach your kids the scriptures. Yeah, there was nothing directly to them. Yeah, and I was just like what about us?
Speaker 2:Like we've got to you know, the analogy of on an airplane they ask you to put on your oxygen mask first before you put on the oxygen mask on your kids. And I just felt like maybe this is selfish of me, but like I need to be fed the scriptures before I turn around and teach my kids like I, I need to love them and be immersed in them and find the lessons, instead of just like here, how do I teach my children? And um, one of the scriptures I'd been studying that week, it's in doctrine covenant, section 58, uh behold, it does not meet that I should command in all things, basically saying men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause and do many things of their own free will and bring to pass much righteousness.
Speaker 2:And the Lord was like Callie, is that going to bring to pass righteousness? Do it Like you own it and make it happen. And I was like, okay, I guess I'll start an Instagram account. And so I started it and I just shared it with a few people, like, hey, I'm just going to share, like my little insights from the scriptures you share, you know, comment what you're learning as well. And everything just kind of grew from there because I think that audience needed something, like people were looking for something that would help them dive into the scriptures before then trying to teach their kids.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and when you did that you had no idea it was going to take off the way.
Speaker 2:No, no, no. I was like okay, fine, I'll start an Instagram account for my 200 closest friends. Like fine. I guess I'll do it and the Lord was like you have no idea what I have in store for you.
Speaker 1:It's such an inspiration and to see that and obviously what you did had something to do with what I'm doing now, and not to be like. If you've seen Nacho Libre, the movie, remember that scene where he's with Incarnacion. He's like those are my favorite things to do. That's literally the same scripture that I read before I launched.
Speaker 1:So this whole thing about anxiously engaged in a good work, I'm not going to command you to do all things, and for me it was a matter of wanting to just promote this recent spiritual miracle I'd experienced through the temple. How do I share this? And he's like what do you want to do? I'm like, well, I've got this work podcast, why don't we do this? So I think it's wonderful that you do that and it's such an inspiring thing because you do it in such a concise way. That's the type of content that I'm excited to consume.
Speaker 1:So, last thing I'll say, kind of wrapping it back to compensation blessings you know, there was that time during COVID where you started this, this whole thing, and there was no room to go. The temples were literally closed and I would have loved to have known about this talk back then, because back then, when we couldn't go to the temples, just a willingness to go in those times was enough to get full access to those blessings. I know we all may have experienced versions of that, but light is knowledge and knowledge is power, as we know, this concept of compensation and blessings, of our willingness to do what we can and just expect, as President Nelson says, expect the miracles, want it. Know you're going to be that up and down inconsistency at best and go.
Speaker 1:You know what, as long as I keep checking with the Lord, is this enough, and I'm willing to act when it's not. He'll fill in the rest, and I think that's a great way to end. So, Callie, thank you so much for being. Oh, one last question. I ask everyone this so this is a temple and family history podcast. One of the reasons I love doing this is because one day, your kids and your case have lots of examples of mom being on air and all these things. But usually my guests don't, but I'd love for them to hear you and to talk to them directly. What would you want your kids to know when they're grown up about compensation? Uh, compensatory blessings.
Speaker 2:Oh, wow, that's a big one. Yeah, um, I would want my kids to know that heavenly father and Jesus Christ love you so much and they will help you with whatever you need, whatever. So often the adversary tells us to run and hide and to feel that shame and to try and keep it, keep it hidden. But if we approach him with that humility and that sincere heart Like I, I love you and I want to continue to worship you and to serve you and and here's what I'm dealing with right now that he will bless you with whatever you could possibly need, there's, there's, nothing you can do. That will be past that and I hope, I hope my kids know that.
Speaker 1:Ah, thank you, Callie. Thank you again for being on the show thing. It means a lot to me. Thanks for inviting me and Kyle, if you're listening. Thank you so much for watching all those kids. Thank you for listening to today's episode of Temple Bound. If you enjoyed today's content, please leave a review and share the episode with others so that people who are looking for this information can find it. Thank you again for listening. Until next time.
