Temple Bound
God's children are searching in greater numbers for answers and hoping for miracles as they look to Jesus Christ for relief. On 'Temple Bound,' hosted by Will Humphreys, explore how temples offer not just solace but also powerful tools for navigating these turbulent times through faith in Jesus Christ.
Tune in every Monday to hear Will Humphreys engage with guests who bring inspiring stories, profound teachings, and insights into accessing divine guidance through temple service.
Each episode promises to enrich your understanding and strengthen your connection to the Savior in unique and transformative ways.
Whether you're seeking answers, yearning for peace, or in need of a miracle, 'Temple Bound' is your weekly spiritual refuge, helping you anchor your soul to the Savior. Join us on this sacred journey to deepen your faith and discover the blessings of temple worship.
Temple Bound
Leading Our Kids to Christ as a True Friend with Kara Smith
What if our kids knew Christ, not just as a Redeemer or Master, but as a true friend?
In this powerful episode of Temple Bound, Will Humphreys sits down with returning guest Kara Smith to talk about something most of us never hear much about: how to develop a personal friendship with Jesus Christ.
It started with a simple realization, there aren’t many talks, lessons, or resources that explore this side of the Savior. So Will and Kara decided to dig into what it means, not just for youth, but for parents, to model that relationship.
Together, they explore how the temple can become a place where youth stop “checking in” with Christ and start walking with Him.
Key Topics in This Episode:
- Friendship with Christ is Real, But Rarely Taught
Will and Kara discuss how “friend” is one of Christ’s names, yet rarely emphasized. They share why this specific connection matters deeply for the rising generation.
- Kids Are Hurting, Even When They Look Fine
Even the strongest, happiest-looking kids often feel isolated. Social media, peer pressure, and self-doubt create silent struggles that too many face alone.
- The Temple Is a Place of Belonging
Kara shares how her son, Drew, had a personal experience of feeling seen in the temple, and how mindset and intention shape the way youth connect with Christ there.
- Parenting with Boundaries & Self-Respect
Setting limits isn’t about control, it’s about modeling how to treat others and yourself. Kara explains how emotional safety in the home leads to spiritual growth.
- Authenticity Over Perfection
Real spiritual impact comes from being honest with your kids, not just teaching doctrine, but letting them see how you wrestle, grow, and lean on Christ.
- Teaching Them to Trust Their Divine Identity
Kara talks about how trusting in the Savior helps her kids trust themselves. That trust becomes the foundation for facing life with courage and confidence.
- The Latter-Day Advantage
These are hard times, but they’re also sacred times. Will reframes the pressure of the world as a divine opportunity, our youth are meant for this moment.
If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who needs it, another parent, a youth leader, or a friend walking the same path.
Subscribe to Temple Bound for more conversations that bring Christ closer to the everyday lives of Latter-day Saints.
You know, as a parent, is there anything more important to us than helping our kids and grandkids develop relationships with the Savior, a personal friendship with the Savior? Karen Smith and I who's today's guest were talking about this concept prior to this episode and researched as many talks as we could find on developing a friendship with Christ and surprisingly, there weren't that many. We know that through the temple we can develop a close connection to the Savior, and our initial thought was to talk directly to the youth about how they too can find the Savior in the temple and develop an actual personal relationship with him. But what the episode evolved into, as you're going to hear, is all about how we can model becoming friends with the Savior and the power that the temple gives to that relationship. So if you're a parent or grandparent and you're looking for a way to not only become closer to the Savior through this thing called friendship, but also want to know how you can help your descendants find that path, this is a great episode for you to listen to, and it was a joy to film it with Kara, who's a returning guest.
Speaker 1:Enjoy the show. I remember the main thing was because normally I ask people to pick a talk. Right, we really didn't find a talk that was super clear, but a topic came to mind for you, and it was this topic of helping the youth find a friend in Christ, and so we both started researching articles that talked about you know, how to develop a relationship like a friendship with Jesus, and we didn't find anything.
Speaker 2:Yes, true.
Speaker 1:And having that distance there so like. So that was really interesting. I think you were very intentional about like the topic itself.
Speaker 2:So I think that's it. Was that the topic? Yes, it just like rose from a need as I was thinking about it and I I mean, I, this is sacred, this is like, I think, kind of a raw conversation or the topic in general. Just going to the temple, I mean that's getting to people, right. So I mean, yeah, it's an important thing and it's and it's a it's private mostly. So, um, as I was thinking about it, our last conversation was great. I I did kind of forget everything I said after I walked out of the room and Cameron listened to it and I was like, oh man, it's coming out. I don't know what I did. I don't know because I just do what feels right in the moment, and I don't really know what that's going to be.
Speaker 2:So I I'm on a ride too, right, right, and in that interview I'll never forget.
Speaker 1:You were like I asked a question once. You're like yeah, let's do that differently. I don't like that question. And I asked a different question, like, see, I feel I feel good in my stomach about that is what you said. So, yeah, I mean this is kind of a similar thing for you in terms of finding this topic, because it was something that needed to feel good in your stomach, yes, about what we were going to talk about.
Speaker 2:Yes. So you said let's try this. And I'm like, yeah, title looks good. And then I listened to it and I was like I don't feel anything. Oh, the original whatever you sent me like oh, let's do this.
Speaker 1:This came up.
Speaker 2:yeah, throwing a dart like I mean they're all great, they're all great. But I was like, if I'm gonna go and like go deep, share an opinion about it or thoughts about it, then I better connect to it totally so I didn't did you connect to the second thing I sent you I don't remember that was sister yen, that was sister.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, yes, that was great, yes, that was great.
Speaker 2:but that was after. I was like, okay, I need to think about this more instead of just say, sure, I'll come back. And I did. And then I prayed about it and I was driving and I was like this is the temple, this is going to the temple, and I care about the youth more than I care about us Sure People.
Speaker 1:our age is what you mean.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:You're not trying to insult me on my show.
Speaker 2:I actually don't care about you at all.
Speaker 1:You care about the young, yeah, and that's where we share a passion, and this is something we've talked about before, but you're passionate about that and this is where that came from.
Speaker 2:Yes. So I was like okay, what, what is needed, what is natural for me to talk about with this? And, um, I was asking kids. I was asking my own kids, but then also at church, hey, how's it, how's life, how's it going? Um, how are your friends? And then I would ask and the ones that are in junior high and younger are doing pretty good from my little test. And then, as soon as they're any older than that, we're like it's either really good or it's really bad.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's polarized. In my home it's the same way. Yes, totally relate to that.
Speaker 2:Yes, so I was just they are on my mind and I'm thinking about it and I'm thinking about coming and talking to you and I'm like we, I would love to have a conversation about finding Jesus as your friend in the temple. And I mean, we could go on a long list of the names of Christ yeah, like a long list, sure, and one of them is friend. And do we believe it? And how do you do that? And how do you like foster that relationship as a teenager, in the temple or anywhere? But how does that happen? How do you go to really believing that he's your friend and available to you as a friend? And so I was like, sorry, will I just figure it out, man, you can do it, I don't know. Well, I don't feel like I've made a lot of progress authentically.
Speaker 1:Cause like I read the articles and I learned a lot about friendship. You know the talk that you sent was really cool. Cause it was the only one that was about friendship, and talk that you sent was really cool because it was the only one that was about friendship and I'm glad that you liked the one from sister I'm forgetting her name, yee, yes, and hers was great because it talked about a covenant relationship with Jesus.
Speaker 1:But, honestly, where I was in that room before you showed up today for filming was like but how are we going to talk about this in a way that's authentic for kids? Because, look, I actually feel very clear that you and I could have a very adult conversation about, like, friendship through the Savior, in the temple, through covenants, and we could talk about those elements. But there was something about our last podcast together where I was looking at those articles. I'm like, and I know what my kids think and I feel connected to that generation, to where I was, like I don't see how I'm going to be able to express that in a way. So I'm really in prayer today about that. Our conversation is going to be able to create some language and some ideas for kids that are going to hear this and go yeah, that's what it means and I and I believe I can maybe open up that possibility of like no, jesus is my friend and if I go there, I can develop that relationship.
Speaker 2:Yeah. I asked Drew, who's on a mission right now, yeah, um, how it was going to the temple and like do you believe that he's your friend and he's going to meet you there? And he said he was like well when I go with the football team, I mostly feel like I'm trying to corral them, like I'm doing work while I'm there, to like in that, and like he's like sit there, be reverent.
Speaker 1:Like you're like, ah, you're stressing me out, like I think it stresses him out.
Speaker 2:Um, although it's awesome, but he's like, I just feel like I'm more worried about making sure that they're respectful.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he's not able to go inside. And we've all been there. I've been in the temple mindful of like, oh, I didn't go to the bathroom, like I'm going to have a problem. Yeah, I can't listen to what they're saying, I'm just waiting for the time. Yeah.
Speaker 2:And then he would go with less friends or by himself or in service to someone, like someone that's stressed to go and he's like I'm coming to pick you up, we're going to go and we're going to do this. And then he has a totally different experience and he's like, and then I could believe it more that that Christ is my friend and I can feel him when I'm there. I'm like okay, so that's good.
Speaker 1:So you, this, you're you're good, we don't need to talk about it, but he's also older too. He's at that age where they start finding friendships. I think what you mentioned earlier, kara, that I loved, was something that I'm very passionate about right now. The big thing that got me involved in the temples in the first place is this whole journey I went through with one of my kids, and it started with him not feeling like he belonged, and that is the adversary. In my opinion, the biggest tool the adversary is using right now to separate our kids from the fold of God. It's not like they're wandering in weird flocks or getting into trouble, which some might, but mostly they're introverting. They're going into their rooms and they're disappearing for hours on end on their devices.
Speaker 2:But is it? They don't belong in the temple or they don't belong with friends and friends yes with friends and friends.
Speaker 1:So that's why this is such an important topic is because if we could introduce this idea that Christ is your friend and he is real, and they could feel like they belong in the temple to him, then it would totally, it radically, change self-esteem. Because, right now. I think that's what's hurting it.
Speaker 2:And I think but I think that all kids are having a similar experience, although it does not look like it, like I that they're all showing smiles and life is good and everything is good, but then behind the scenes, they weren't included. They don't feel like they have a true, genuine friend that will notice if they didn't show up, will check on them, or I think they're willing to be a friend to someone, but everyone is looking around trying to find the next most fun thing or the next great person or whatever.
Speaker 1:So you're saying that the pressure is there, even though some kids are more isolated. Maybe even kids who have friendships are still feeling some isolation.
Speaker 2:Yes, I think that the kids that look like they're doing great and have a smile on their face are also struggling.
Speaker 1:Okay, I have to think about that. I mean because I have one child who's seems like this never-ending social life. So it would be a radical shift for me to perceive that person as feeling isolated sometimes. But I'm open to that I mean.
Speaker 2:But maybe, maybe in this moment, the, the social life is great yeah and that that's a roller coaster that doesn't stay smooth.
Speaker 1:True.
Speaker 2:Like. It just doesn't. I mean and and some ages like some, some grades, there's like neighbors that are your same age and you guys connect and it's great and you have a buddy. You have a buddy and it's a safe place, it's easy. Most don't have that, Okay, most don't have. We line up, we both like each other, we're both on the same page, we're both shooting for the same things and I know that they're going to invite me, they're going to include me in whatever's going on. I think most kids aren't having that experience.
Speaker 1:So I'm feeling a degree of relief as you're talking, and I want to just say something about that fast, because I've only witnessed what I've seen in my own home Right, and so most of my experience has been these young men who are struggling with feeling like they belong, and so I've been very passionate about this whole possibility that the temple could open up this sense of connection. But what I didn't realize until you said that was that I've been going through my own version as a parent. Is that like? Oh, it seems to me probably like my kids do, that everyone else's kids are doing much better?
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, probably like my kids do, that everyone else's kids are doing much better oh yeah, you know what I'm saying, like when you say that I'm like, oh wow, I didn't realize I was also in that state of feeling a little like I'm out there on the fringe yeah, I'm stressed out and I'm and I'm like looking at the other parents like are we on the same team here? Yeah, like what are you?
Speaker 2:doing like. Aren't you having the same conversations like? Right trying to be inclusive or trying to just be aware of kids outside of yourself? I think everyone is kind of struggling and so they're focused on themselves and that's very natural, it's not. It's not a problem in that. I hope they mature out of it.
Speaker 1:Yeah Right, Because over time that's what we learn as adults.
Speaker 1:And this is the thing that we're worried about with the kids, but as adults we learn it's oh. Most people feel kind of similar to me, and so when I meet another adult I still have my judgments and my barriers, but for the most part it's like life has taught me everyone's struggling with something. So, no matter how great things are, we're probably more alike than we're not alike, whereas as a kid it's so polar and I think the social media has just amplified that for sure To where now they're feeling like they're on an Island, they have no one, no matter how. Maybe, like in your case, you're saying, even socially perceptively, it seems like they are, they're being, they're still very isolated somewhere. Yes, at least there's times like you're saying, yes, there's times where they're like super isolated and and yeah. So this message of finding a friend in Christ, why is it important to you?
Speaker 2:first, Well, I feel like, because of the climate that they're growing up in and social media, I do think it's very hard to really know who you are and be confident in that when you're able to see what other friends are doing and that you haven't been included in. To feel good, to feel good, genuinely feel good about yourself, you have to know who you are. You have to know whose you are. You have to have that be a real, physical thing that you experience and you get, so that you can weather the storms of the climate we're in.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and what do you mean by physical when you say know it in their physical world?
Speaker 2:Like like you can know something in your brain and you can understand that a teacher's trying to tell you something. But when you experience it and it drops down into a body experience where you feel the spirit and that's been testified to you through the spirit, the Holy ghost, you have a physical experience of a truth that is presented.
Speaker 1:I see.
Speaker 2:And then you're like you can't. It's harder to deny.
Speaker 2:Right when you have this physiological response to that spiritual inspiration and you're like okay, I feel it from my head to my toe that I'm loved, that I'm important, that I am needed and that's I mean. It's still hard, even after you have those experiences. It's still hard. But if you can stack some of those up and you can realize that, whether whatever other people are doing, it doesn't really affect the value of who you are and what you bring to earth. Like you, just you're good, you can handle it.
Speaker 2:Got it so as I look at my own kids and I watch them struggle through things all of them, they're very normal kids. Right, I think they're having the same experience as all the other kids.
Speaker 1:I would tell you from an outside perspective they're like super humans and I mean that. They're very cool, very powerful, very put together they're very great, but they're having very normal earthly human experiences.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and as I watch them and sometimes it hurts, sometimes it physically hurts me to watch them have to struggle and on one side I'm like dang it, I wish this wasn't happening for you. And on the other I am like I am right here and I'm so glad that you're having to figure out who you are right now.
Speaker 1:Interesting.
Speaker 2:Like so glad so, so glad. So, when I'm sitting there frustrated with people that say things or people that are, you know that there's just going to be naysayers, there's just going to be opposers to whatever you're trying to do always Right, when they butt up against them, I'm like thank you. Thank you for giving them the opportunity to have to dig deep right now.
Speaker 1:And you said something in a previous podcast about like being able to make your home while you have them. This like this soft landing for them, safe, safe.
Speaker 2:Safe is my biggest. You're free to feel whatever it is. You're free to experience whatever it is you're going through and it's safe here to explore it, to talk about it, to feel what you need to feel.
Speaker 1:Why is that the go-to for you as you're raising your kids? Why is it that safe? I mean, safety sounds like yeah, that makes sense, but why is that something?
Speaker 2:that you Like emotional safety.
Speaker 1:I see so yeah, so emotional safety. How do you do that?
Speaker 2:I mean, I just can't be an overreactor.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:You want be an overreactor? Okay. You want someone. They come in and say something and you're like, okay, cool, let's just we'll deal with it. Whatever is, whatever you're experiencing, I don't know, I just like the real stuff I yeah, like you welcome that yes, very much, very, if it's, if it's happening, let's talk about it like it doesn't have to be scary, it doesn't have to be a big deal. But I want you to be able to process how you're feeling.
Speaker 2:I want you to be able to process how you're feeling. I want you to be able to express how you're feeling. I don't want you to be bottling up everything you're feeling and not to be like just in our emotions all the time and be like crying and just overly emotional. But I. I feel like if you're unable to feel, express like, you're going to run into some problems down the line.
Speaker 1:It's true. I mean, if I was going to say something to my parent, at even this age, that was going to create an emotional reaction which actually does, you know, still happens where I'm not going to tell them that, right, because I don't want them to worry, because it worries me.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And so, yeah, that creates further isolation.
Speaker 2:So wait, what'd you just say? Yeah, well, I just said, it worries you, it worries you know it's going to worry them, and so that worries you.
Speaker 1:Absolutely.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I just want to be the place where I feel they're so confident in my ability to handle it that they aren't scared to tell me.
Speaker 1:Got it, so they can just tell you anything, knowing that like it's going to be at least safe and probably great because pain shared is pain divided yeah. More great. But it's interesting at that age that they're not really looking for the parents Like it's organically. It's normal for them not to want to go to mom and dad.
Speaker 2:My kids kind of do come to me.
Speaker 1:I think that's great, that you have kids that are willing to share things with you. I mean, it's kind of where I felt like going on this episode before I got here, not trying to go somewhere, but where my heart kept going and this was like Kara's doing something special in her home. Why can't we share?
Speaker 1:that as while we're talking about some of these great quotes as well, because your kids do see you as a friend, but you can't be friends with your kids as a primary relationship at these ages because you still have to be a parent first and all these things. So how do you delineate friendship versus parenting?
Speaker 2:I don't know. That's a hard question. I feel like.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's a good question then.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I just. It's not helpful. I just do what's natural to me.
Speaker 1:That's not helpful. No, that's not helpful at all.
Speaker 2:That's the worst thing you could have said.
Speaker 1:But it's true, and I think, where we have our strengths in life, it's so organic to us that it's something we can easily talk about.
Speaker 2:I feel like I do demand respect okay which is, I think, different than what a lot of people do um yeah, because that feels like control when you say that I know, I know it's kind of it sounds like control. I should say um, they can have their emotions and they can feel what they need to feel and they can express what they need to, but they can't. I don't allow them to be rude to me ever.
Speaker 1:But they've tried, I'm sure, and so how do you respond to that without being overreacting, like you mentioned before? No, like I'm not available for that I don't say that, but it's just like uh did?
Speaker 2:did you just talk to me like that Got? It Like is that one of your options? It's not Weird.
Speaker 1:Let's review.
Speaker 2:Okay, oh wait, wait, circle back, start again. Okay, I'm ready.
Speaker 1:Uh-huh, oh, that's cool.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's interesting.
Speaker 2:It's just a no. It's just a no and it feels really important to me. Actually, the way you can treat me makes them have more respect for themselves, and probably for themselves, I'm guessing, yes. But I have so much respect for them Like I. I mean everything that I'm expecting. I'm offering like as much as I possibly can.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and there's something about authenticity going back to that. That word again is that when you do set those boundaries I mean boundaries are so essential to self-respect. And so how can for a child who's learning who they are and, yes, we want them to ultimately land in the temple with the savior their most immediate exposure is the home, in the temporal sense, with mom and dad. So when you are setting a boundary for yourself, you're modeling boundaries to them, you're modeling self-respect and you're giving respect to them.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:That creates a connection and a place for them to start. Maybe that's the foundation of like what they can become in terms of how they see themselves. Yes, because they're seeing it. It's like learning.
Speaker 2:We have to see it modeled first, yeah, yeah, I feel like it's, it's super important and I get um. My kids will see other kids and how they talk to their parents or how they talk to their mom or how they you know what that interaction looks like and they're shocked. Yeah, they're shocked and it's like how can that relationship, how can that relationship be good if that's allowed?
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:You know, like if, how can, how can I mean?
Speaker 1:it sounds like I'm being controlling and that no, the way you first said it the way you first said it landed like that, because it was more of a question of what's the boundary between, what's the difference between that? Because it's not.
Speaker 2:But but I I really think that they feel safe to to show me their stuff, um, and know that I'm not gonna overreact and I'm not going to be. I think overreacting is a hard thing for parents and because there's these parameters around it where we aren't mean to each other like we. They know that about me. I know that that they're not going to talk to me that way. It's just like makes the environment safe.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's just like okay, we're here and this is how this is going to be, and I can see where if you didn't have that and the kids were going to take out all of their feelings on you, like they. They kind of need to learn, in my opinion, to like, self-evaluate and and emotionally stabilize themselves.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And so and that's the goal, that's the goal and still feel everything and express it in a way that is healthy, it in a way that is healthy. But they I don't know, maybe my kids have just had to figure out that, because I won't let them have an emotional temper tantrum on me as pretty grown up, they're not toddlers.
Speaker 1:Teenagers. That's the difficulty there, and I think that overreacting, like you said, looks like lots of things. It can look like screaming and yelling and throwing them into their rooms and like how could you do this? To me, underreacting is taking it, and so there's that balance of like setting boundaries healthily, without going out of ethics in terms of how we feel about how we should conduct ourselves as adults. Right, you know, because that's the difference between responding and reacting is being in control.
Speaker 2:In control yeah.
Speaker 1:And non-avoidant as well.
Speaker 2:Yes, yeah.
Speaker 1:What I love about the discussion and the way I'm seeing it about for me is this idea about how, like again, modeling that behavior sets the stage for them to start developing a sense of identity, because they're seeing it modeled. And it starts with respect. Yeah, it starts with I am worthy, um, I am loved so much that I don't allow certain behaviors or people to treat me in a certain way, which, by the way, every person who's been in an unhealthy relationship would go heck. Yeah, that's the foundation.
Speaker 2:Okay. So I felt like I um didn't want to be disrespected and I wanted to model that so that they wouldn't treat anyone else that way.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Like they wouldn't be in any sort of habit or comfort around. Being rude, being like being flippant with your vocabulary towards another person, like I'm not going to let you do that, so that you never do it to someone you date. So you never do it to anyone else, so that is like a hard line that you don't cross, is like I feel like I'm offering you this gift by making you toe the line here.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Kind of.
Speaker 1:Sure.
Speaker 2:So then that was probably like my initial reasoning, and then, as I got further into it and more years under my belt, I was like, oh, you're able like this, this way of kind of requiring you to be respectful. I think that those boundaries, like we talked about before, really developed into a place where they felt so much comfort with me. I wasn't going to flip out, and then they come to me. They come to me.
Speaker 1:Interesting. You know I have lots of questions as you're talking, because the first thought I have is how do we then take that to the temple and the savior? Which? The how is always the wrong question. I've learned it's like who we need to become is the answer. But there is a tactical mind in my place of seeing the connection of like okay, so by this you get this, by this you get that. But then there's this other thing about parents who don't have that natural gift, who are like you were talking about you your friends have.
Speaker 1:Your kids have seen their friends how they talk to their parents. At best it makes it harder for them to show them why the savior matters to them and where the temple is for that, and so that's maybe a different discussion for another day.
Speaker 2:But what do?
Speaker 1:you do in that place to help them go to the temple and see it. But I will say this I've learned when we went to Africa last year and we were in this tribe and the kids loved my kids and my kids. The first day Van's crying and I'm like dude, are you OK? Because you're hot, you're tired. He's like no man, I can't say it like that.
Speaker 1:He goes and he goes no, dad, I don't want to leave.
Speaker 1:I've never been this happy, and it was because I saw he had never been anywhere where, socially, he was just immediately loved and accepted without any reservation, without any agenda, and so there's a social poverty that our kids have, and it's not trying to compare financial poverty in Africa.
Speaker 1:What I'm saying, though, is that what we are talking about, and where I think both of us have been really called to help the youth, is helping them in social poverty, because a social poverty, if not handled correctly, directly correlates to self-esteem in these developing years. Oh for sure, and that's why I think it's so important to us, because, if they can find that blessing that only our Father in heaven can give them, that the Savior is able to share with them during some of those difficult times, they may feel like they have no one, and that's why suicide rates are triple, where they were just 10 years ago, and that's a real stat. So it's it's it's uh important to have this discussion of how can we, how can we model these things, cause it leads to how they're going to later treat themselves, and then that identity comes from the savior. So how do you do that? How, once you model that behavior. What do you do to help your children develop that relationship with the Savior?
Speaker 2:I mean, I still think it's us modeling. I think it's us being transparent and having really honest conversations about how we've done it. How do we find our self-worth, how do we navigate things that are hard? I mean because we have them, yeah, like as much as they do. I mean cause we have them, like it's it's as much as they do. I mean it just might look different. We're up against different things with different pressure, um, but I I think that you can only really speak from what you've experienced.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And if that's your greatest teacher, that is going to be their greatest teacher and to allow it to be their teacher. But then pull them along Like it's just a gentle, pulling them along Like do you go to the temple, do you? What do you feel there? And I think when you say, have you been to the temple, are you doing this, have you made your appointments? Are you going with your friends, or whatever, it's like I in some cases they're like yes, that's great, I'd love to go, I'd love to do that, but have you found relief there? Have you? Did they know that? Because you talked about it?
Speaker 1:Which, which requires again some vulnerability.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean they're like the most important people on the planet.
Speaker 1:Listen, I, I. I experienced this in various levels, but it's so hard sometimes for some people, myself being one of those to be vulnerable.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and that's like working against you already and I appreciate that you're saying that because I am quote like a dude. And so for me it's true, because I am actually more expressive emotionally than most guys. Yeah, um, but it's interesting because my sons are actually very much like dudes, like when I start like sharing my emotions, not like sobbing on the floor, but I'm just like you know, if I start going there, they have a little bit of this piece, so it's a challenge for me.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:To go through that.
Speaker 2:Well, it is a little repelling if it's not natural.
Speaker 1:Totally.
Speaker 2:Like it's like okay, I don't need to carry your weight Like I. Just this is getting weird.
Speaker 1:Well, and I will say that sometimes I feel like it is natural, but there are definitely times when the spirit is so strong that there's no room for it. Yeah, like there's been those moments where we can share that with our kids and to take advantage of it. But what you're saying is a friend in Jesus first. So, yeah, I mean I want to start asking all sorts of questions like how personal.
Speaker 2:it is or I don't know, I don't know, I don't know what the right conversation is to have. Um, I think a lot of this conversation that we've already had is directed at parents and and or would be more beneficial to parents.
Speaker 1:Yeah, for sure, and it's our, it's our shared experience.
Speaker 2:It's our shared experience. And then, if you're going to trans something, mute trans.
Speaker 2:Yeah translate to kids, transfer, translate to kids. Like that conversation becomes a little bit different and I don't know if that's what our goal is here or if it's. I don't know If you just our goal is here or if it's, um, I don't know. If you just let it marinate for a second and you think for me why do I want them to go to the temple? If I, why would I want you to spend your time there to to learn about who you are? Yes, you're doing service. Yes, you're able to easier feel the spirit and feel the um separateness from the world. Yeah, you know that. That's really really amazing. Um, I wonder if it gets lost on the kids a little bit. They're just like oh, we're going to go to the temple and we're going to go down to the basement and we're gonna do the work, and it's like we're gonna. We've done this so many times, you know. Um, it's incredible how normal it is for them here in gilbert absolutely gilbert.
Speaker 2:I mean, it's like they're going in droves to the temple, which is which is really cool, um, but some of them aren't right, you know, like definitely some of them aren't.
Speaker 2:Right, you know, like definitely some of them aren't. But why, why, why go there. And what do I think you'll find there? As a mother, as a parent, what is it that I think that you'll find there? And I think those conversations when they're struggling or when they're happy, or when anything it's like have you been, do you want to go? What do you think you'll find there?
Speaker 1:Interesting. I love that thought, though, because it's this idea of understanding. We have to meet them where they are. So it's not like we expect them to go and have these life-changing experiences and truthfully, they could. And there's this element of me, honestly, where I'm thinking yeah, but this generation, there are definitely those who are having those experiences, but it's not maybe the commonplace thing. More kids are not are going there because it's culturally what people are doing. So what they're finding there, honestly, is probably some social acceptance in groups. In some groups In Gilbert Arizona is where they're finding oh, we're all going to the temple, and my hope is that, you know, as a parent, I'm just hoping that that exposure over time creates something for them.
Speaker 2:Yes, and I think that there's an opportunity for us to have a conversation that makes their experience they're a little more personal and a little more special than just going with the crowd to the temple, which is so hilarious. That we're talking about the crowds going to the temple and that they're going to have to go and get the recommend so that they can be with the crowd. It's wild, that's wild.
Speaker 1:The social pressure is to get the temple recommend. Yeah, you better get there In Gilbert Arizona.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, which is I mean?
Speaker 1:no-transcript and he really made that decision from a place of authenticity. I was super proud of him and during that whole journey I just I was hands off. We want to set expectations, for sure with kids, but when it came to that I just was like he's a strong-willed guy, he was going to figure it out. He's told me recently he's like I did not have any idea what was happening during those years. He goes. I really didn't. I went to those things.
Speaker 1:I was with the groups of kids, because that's what you're supposed to do here, and so it's a blessing and it's a bit of a challenge, because growing up in El Paso as a youth which is uncomparable generationally, but still when there's very few members, there's no reason socially to go. So it forces you to ask those questions a little bit earlier, but it's whereas here. I think what you said about like having that conversation is pretty awesome. So this is a more of like for the adult conversation. I don't think there's anything wrong with that, you know. I think right now it's a matter of like, what does that conversation look like? Cause, kara, you're so good at those. Well, I think people listening would be like great. So, kara, what does that conversation look like for you and your kids?
Speaker 2:I mean say there's a struggle.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Something's coming up, and it helps that we live super close to the temple.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And so we're driving by and it's like, have you taken it in there? That seems like a good idea. I don't know, yeah, and like just like, drop small things all the time. I. I feel like it's just.
Speaker 1:So you don't have these big sit downs where you're sitting down with them and you're like Do you want to have a sit down?
Speaker 2:Do you want to be sat down and told anything.
Speaker 1:No, no, I really don't.
Speaker 2:It's got to be organic or it doesn't.
Speaker 1:It comes to spiritual yeah, it's got to be organic or it's not.
Speaker 2:Not for me, yeah for me truly, and that's that's kind of hard for some people that want to just feel good about making sure they brought up the topics and that they've addressed all the things and check the box. Yeah, and I, I, I don't know, I don't even know. There's a list, is there a list?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:It would be. It would go on and on and on, and it would. It would not. It would just be so hard. That just sounds like a hard life.
Speaker 1:That is exhausting yeah, even hearing about that.
Speaker 2:It's like I don't even want to hear you talk about it. Stop saying it, so for you again.
Speaker 1:you build it inorganically where you're driving home. Yeah, Just as things come up.
Speaker 2:Things come up. It's like or I express my own things, like I'm working on this and I need to get in the temple. Wow, I need to be in there. I need to go, because that's where.
Speaker 1:I'm going to be able to separate myself and listen differently. Yeah, do you think adults struggle with this idea of like finding Christ as a friend in the temple?
Speaker 2:I don't know if people are talking about this at all.
Speaker 1:We were looking for talks. We couldn't find a single talk on this topic. We found those two talks that we'll reference here if we feel up to it, but it's this idea of like friendship what I love about it and Marvin J Ashton's did say this in the talk that, um, you know there's lots of tiles for Christ, like you said, but friend is reserved for the closest, most intimate relationship that the savior holds for his followers. You become his servants by being obedient, but his friends is like. The way I heard Marvin J Ashton talk about it was friendship over time, Cause it wasn't like this thing. That was like when you do this, you're my friend.
Speaker 2:Yes, other than die for me, other than die for me.
Speaker 1:There's ain't no greater love on this than one lays his life down for his friends. That's there. That's like an action, but everything else is just obedience over time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he also said that in the relationships where people were describing friendship, it was earned.
Speaker 1:And what'd you think about that?
Speaker 2:Well, I feel like earned sounds. Maybe this is from what 1970? So 1972.
Speaker 1:72.
Speaker 2:So I mean, we would probably talk about it a little bit differently now, but I just think that's time spent.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:That's like experiencing things together, Like I've gone through some years now where I really am going through them with the savior, instead of me living my life and then reporting back. And living my life and reporting back, I'm like I need you right here, right now, and that's. That's a different thing and that's what I would most hope that kids anybody really but I like them better would know that they have that as an option. Yeah, that is one of your options. There's many. You can choose lots of things, Um, but there is one where the savior walks through with you everywhere if you choose it.
Speaker 1:Wow. And so I just had this, this strong thought I want to share. Um, when you were talking about becoming friends with Christ over time, I could really relate. I was thinking about yeah, for me it was a time thing and it was amplified by the intensity of the trials I was going through. So mountain climbing, accident, all the things I'm always talking about that amplified my relationship with Christ to where I always felt like I had a mature, a spiritual maturity that occurred because of those trials. And then I felt myself feeling sad as you were talking, because if friendship with the Savior is, you know, if it was formulaic which it's not, but if we wanted to give it some mass to look at it, it'd be- you got to go through some stuff.
Speaker 2:Trials times time equals friendship with Christ as long as we're leaning on him right.
Speaker 1:Well then I started getting hope, because what I've recognized is and it honestly breaks my heart a little bit is that this generation is suffering with this, these technologies and these, these isolations and the struggles, that the opportunity behind it is, that because they're in such a struggle that they have to lean on the savior and so, even though they're not like for us, it took us years to go to the temple and to develop that love and to develop that friendship, I don't. I question if it takes them that same time because of the intensity of the situation.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, I really honestly believe that it doesn't take the same amount of time as it did for us.
Speaker 2:I think that it took me. I mean, I felt kind of fine growing up. I don't know. Things were hard but they were kind of fine. And then, but to really understand who I was as a daughter of God and that that's real, like that, took me a very long time to really internalize. And so when I looked at my kids and how their lives are and just the technology that exists and just the pressure that they're under and the amount of people in their schools and just the competition and the families and the coaches and like the, it just is like on and on and on. It's just like this pressure cooker that they're in. They absolutely have to figure it out sooner and they are up to it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's this kind of scary but cool thing where our kids, because of the latter days, are put in such a difficult situation that they're going I don't want to say sink or swim, but that's kind of what comes to mind for me.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:It's like this intense pressure. They need it. There's a scarcity in me that gets a little anxious about it, but then there's this hope of like you know what. They were prepared for this.
Speaker 2:Because of the situation that we're in now, they have to rely differently, they have to search differently and they're more open to it. Faster, yeah, like the speed that they can adapt to good and to bad is incredible.
Speaker 1:It's very fast, it is very, very fast and that's super helpful, yeah it is, and it's maybe inspiring for people who have kids right now, who are being suppressed by the forces of the dark side. I feel like I'm talking about star Wars, but like they're, they're being really overwhelmed and struggling and then, all of a sudden, this is like but no, but they're prepared for this. They can shift back. Our reality is so different than theirs. When we were that age to be in some of their places, it would have meant a much more dismal outcome, and that's not what we're. That's not what's happening.
Speaker 2:No, I do not believe that Right At all.
Speaker 1:That's right at all. That's where your faith comes in, and you've said that before. There's almost this. You said this in our last podcast.
Speaker 2:You have a sense of trust oh for so big on the savior that he will show up at the time that he's needed, when he's supposed to, for your kids and they will be able to recognize him.
Speaker 1:I really, really believe in them how important do you think that is for your kids in developing their self-identity, that you have that trust in the Savior for them.
Speaker 2:I think it makes it easier for them yeah.
Speaker 1:By a lot. How do they know that you have that trust? How does that look like to them?
Speaker 2:Oh, I actually really do trust them, Like Cameron's learning to drive and she's I don't have like a freak out like level. Oh, I just am like, well, if we're going down, we're going down right now. I mean, I don't know it is, it's fine, whatever. So then she's like, and she's far enough along now that I'm not looking over her shoulder anymore, and she's like you really trust me, don't you? And I was like of course I do, Absolutely, I 100% trust you. And she's like should I turn or should I not? And I was like it's up to you Not even going to look.
Speaker 1:Wow, I believe that makes an impact in how they see themselves spiritually.
Speaker 2:They believe in themselves. I honestly think that they know they can handle stuff. I mean, I'm getting letters home now because they are. Some of them have moved along.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they've left and they've reflected back and said, wow, and they're like oh, you really, really believed in us, like it was true.
Speaker 2:It wasn't lip service.
Speaker 1:I really don't know if this episode's for anyone other than me.
Speaker 2:Oh, whatever.
Speaker 1:I'm not, I'm being dead serious.
Speaker 2:You believe in your kids.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but here's the thing In my domains, you know, I, when I, where I show up professionally, there's a small difference. And I don't. I'm trying to narrow that gap for sure, but like literally, I had a team meeting on Tuesday and people were getting emotional and they were just like, wow, it wasn't me, it was this culture that we built of trust where everyone's like I just feel so trusted. My favorite book for self-development that's outside of like spiritual realms is the Speed of Trust by Stephen Covey. It's the best book for if you're an entrepreneur, leader or business owner, it's the first book I always recommend because it talks about the power of trust and how that transforms people into believing in themselves.
Speaker 1:And so you know, the way this conversation started in this part of it was I asked you, how does your faith in God translate into them? You know, developing a friendship in Christ? And it made sense because when they see again you're modeling trust to them, they can trust themselves. And then that's that's true to their eternal essence of who they are. Yes, I can trust me and who am I? Oh, you know. And then mom's mom is demonstrating being a daughter of God. That means I'm a son of God.
Speaker 2:I can't say it as good as you just said it, but I think that that's true.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Like.
Speaker 1:I see it, I'm like doing it, I don't know what?
Speaker 2:what's happening?
Speaker 1:Kara, as you're talking, I'm seeing it, and I'm seeing it like a lesson for me, and it's it's empowering. It's empowering because I can trust my kids. Yeah, Well, they they started me trusting the Lord, though.
Speaker 2:They were given gifts. They this time it's real, that is not a lie, that is not. And even if they're imperfect in how they are moving through life, like what taught you.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:What helped you know who you are? What I mean? It's just the life experience. I mean we are human. They do make mistakes, they are cranky, they're like it's all normal, but I I know who's they are.
Speaker 1:Right, but that starts with knowing who you are, yes, and extends to knowing that you trust God in their lives. See where a lot of parents not naming names me. Where the adversary gets in their head is that I've screwed up.
Speaker 1:It's not that it's not that the Lord is imperfect or not going to show up for them. It's because and listen, I'm not carrying that currently. I used to, yes, this place of like, well, yeah, but maybe they're not going to be okay because of me, right, and that's a lot of parents will struggle with that. That was a big thing for me for years, because of my imperfections and what I had learned from my-.
Speaker 2:Do you really think that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ can't work around you?
Speaker 1:Absolutely Like are you that special. No, and I don't carry that anymore. Not you, but you're. Oh, I see I forgot we're having an audience, yeah.
Speaker 2:Not actually directed at you. I'm like I don't want to-.
Speaker 1:Like. Why are? You coming at me, but it's a form of selfishness in a weird way.
Speaker 2:It is, it's twisted.
Speaker 1:It's twisted.
Speaker 2:It's like backwards humility, or it's like it's just. It's like backwards, backwards humility, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Because you would. The reason it's backwards is because it looks like humility, but really it's selfishness, because it's like. Well, I am so influential over my sins and make a difference in their lives.
Speaker 2:That's like not even believing in the atonement.
Speaker 1:Listen, you know, of all the things I wasn't gonna laugh at today, that comment is probably not the one I would have picked, but it's true. It's funny when you. It's laughable when you look at the lie.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there's a big lie. It's a lie. There's a big lie that we all carry.
Speaker 1:Thank you for listening to today's episode of Temple Bound. If you enjoyed today's content, please leave a review and share the episode with others so that people who are looking for this information can find it. Thank you again for listening. Until next time.
