Oil, Light, and the 10 Virgins: How to Be Ready with Heather Humphreys

What’s the oil in your lamp made of? Will and Heather close this 3-part series with the Brother of Jared’s glowing stones, personal stories of faith, and powerful insights into the parable of the ten virgins. This is a heartfelt guide to preparing for Christ’s return—with confidence, trust, and intentional shine.

Key Takeaways:

• True readiness for Christ's return is built on a deep, personal relationship with Him, symbolized by the "oil" in our lamps.
• Trials are often the "presses" that help us gain this essential spiritual oil.
• We can foster our children's relationship with the Savior by encouraging them to turn to Him in their challenges.
• The companionship of the Holy Ghost is priceless, providing confidence and guidance.
• No matter the challenge, "the best is yet to come," and God will always provide "another ram in the thicket."

Scriptures & Quotes Mentioned:

• Daniel 2:44-45 (Stone cut without hands)
• Doctrine and Covenants 65:2-3
• Matthew 25 (Parable of the Ten Virgins)
• President Russell M. Nelson 
• Elder Kevin W. Pearson 

Connect With Us:

• What does your "oil" look like? How are you intentionally building your relationship with the Savior?
• Thank you for joining us on this journey with Temple Bound! Please subscribe and leave a review.

Transcript

Speaker 1 0:05

Hey friends, welcome back to Temple Bound. Once again, we welcome Heather Humphreys, a producer of Temple Bound, into a discussion regarding the Ten Virgins. Heather and I dove into this concept. As we realized in General Conference. This concept kept coming up over and over again, and as we talked about it in our home, we found that it popped up just about everywhere we were looking. So this story has surfaced in our hearts and we are sharing our findings and ideas with you today. But we also explore the story of the brother of Jared, his glowing stones, his trust in the Lord and how his journey mirrors ours when we try to prepare for faith. So what is the oil in our lamps? How do we shine in dark times and how do we help our kids prepare without taking over their journey, all through the lens of the temple? So this one is packed with meaning and heart and I'm so grateful that I get to share it with you. Enjoy the show. So let's talk a little bit about your study with the 10 virgins.

Speaker 2 1:05

Let's.

Speaker 1 1:06

Yeah. So what got you in? What was it that kind of picked that up in the first place?

Speaker 2 1:10

Okay. Well, there's two things about this. First of all, that this parable was referenced four times in this last session of general conference. So I felt like my ears perked up a little bit about like wow, you know, when something here we go patterns, like you know, when you see that repeated, it kind of is a little like there's probably something that you can learn from this. So, but my other connection to this is a personal story, is a personal story, and I didn't even think about this connection in relationship to you and I talking about this until just today.

Speaker 2 1:52

But in 2020, because of COVID, the temples were all closed March of 2020, by the end of March of 2020, all of the temples had shut down and they were closed, right. It was about six months later that the Gilbert Temple began to open again on a really limited use for those that needed to do their living ordinances, okay. So you have about a six-month block of time where we're not attending the temple and so I'm not taking my temple recommend out of my bag on a regular basis and looking at that date, that expiration date, oh, yeah, okay.

Speaker 2 2:35

But something interesting happened in that six months I got a text from the executive secretary and our Bishop, rick, and he said he said, heather, I noticed that your temple recommend is about to expire. Would you like to renew it? And I got that text. I had no idea that my recommend was about to expire because I wasn't using it. And I got, I saw that text and I was like that's cool, like that's cool, like someone else is keeping tabs on that, and got that reminder. And I was like that's cool, like that's cool, like someone else is keeping tabs on that, and got that reminder. And I was like sure.

Personal Temple Recommend Story

Speaker 2 3:10

So I set up my interview on the ward level and then on the stake level and I renewed that recommend, even though it was just going to go back into my bag until the temples were open again. But what happened that was so interesting was that in September of 2020, when the Gilbert Temple opened for live ordinances, the only way that you could go is if you or a family member were going to participate in those ordinances and you could go. Well, we had a nephew leaving on a mission.

Speaker 1 3:42

That's right.

Speaker 2 3:43

And with maybe only a couple of days notice, we were invited to attend his temple endowment and I remember arriving at the temple that day and I remember having this really great feeling that I could pull my temple recommend out of my bag and that it was active and valid. There would not have been time to renew my recommend between the time of his session and I mean really maybe 48 hours, maybe less, that we knew that we were going to be invited to do that. I also remember in that group it was that there were people that their recommends had expired, Like that had just happened, that that happens. If you have a recommend that's good for a year or two years and six months has gone by, you know that is going to happen, and I was really grateful for this executive secretary, and so this is kind of a long story, but this parable came to mind and I remember thinking.

Speaker 2 4:51

Now I know why there are so many virgins in this story is because that preparation, that readiness, looks a lot of different ways and there were people that had managed their own recommends and those expiration dates all by themselves. And there were people that had managed their own recommends and those expiration dates all by themselves. And then there were people like me that were the benefactor of someone else, who cared to remind me to do that, and I remember thinking like, wow, that is you know, those five wise virgins that came with enough oil in their lamps. I don't know if that even makes sense, but I was like I'm like they arrived there a lot of different ways.

Speaker 2 5:30

Does that make sense?

Speaker 1 5:31

Yeah, there's so many, and it's it has to deal with the personalization of our, our journey on earth, how everyone has their own experience, uh, to get there, and so preparation is going to look different for everybody.

Speaker 2 5:42

Preparation does look different for everybody.

Speaker 1 5:44

I think also, like you know, the Lord is really big on effort. So it's, I think, though I love. I never thought of this until you said that, but that what came to my mind, heather, was you have these five that were prepared with, with their oil, right, and, and how every single one of those people were maybe, maybe had different degrees of oil. Do you know what I mean? Like someone, maybe just a metaphor would be someone who's just got baptized, right, and they just went to the temple they only had a chance to go once, and then the savior comes versus someone who's been a member, who's been going weekly like using extreme examples to kind of compare, but it didn't matter, they're all welcome to join the bridegroom. So it doesn't, you know, they're all welcome to join the bridegroom. So there's a lot of lessons to have with this story and I want to dive into why it's being brought up so much. But what you just said made me think about yeah, it's like there's different ways to prepare and then there's different levels of preparation, but it has to deal with just doing the best that we can right, because at the end of the day, as long as there's oil in our lamps, we're going to join the bridegroom no matter what our circumstances, if we are prepared.

Speaker 1 6:50

The part of the story that terrifies me is just knowing that I've been blessed with so much. Do you know what I mean? I think I could easily fall back and go. I've got some oil in my lamp, but I was raised by two very amazing parents. I married my soulmate. I don't have some of those challenges in that way that I think.

Speaker 1 7:09

So, you know, it could be very easy for me to think that I'm prepared when I'm not. Do you know and I'm not trying to be critical, I'm just saying I think there's I believe I'm all the virgins In some way, shape or form. You know, I think there are things that I'm doing, that I am preparing for, that are great and, yeah, it's not a shameful thing for me, it's a calling forth. That's like I can always do better, right. Like what else can I do? What else can I do to go to the Lord and ask where am I missing oil in my life?

Speaker 1 7:40

So that I can? I can follow that pattern of shine and be prepared? Because I think that's probably the most terrifying thing of this whole journey is that moment when time for preparation is done and where am I? I don't lose sleep over it because I have a savior and there's a ram and a thicket and all those different items. But I never want to take it for granted either. There's a part of me that kind of loves that I'm still a little worried about it. If that makes sense, I think it's a healthy degree of worry that I know there's more I can do.

Speaker 2 8:15

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I would think that that's you know, that the enemy, um, you know, to that constant nourishment, and that those that striving to be a disciple is that be the apathetic, you know, view that, like I've already done that, or I've you know, I've already taken care of that, I've already done everything I can, and you, you know, maybe get lazy.

Different Ways of Preparation

Speaker 1 8:40

So this story has come up four times in last year on conference and we know these aren't directed conferences. People go to the Lord independently and they they feel what they're supposed to talk about. So four people separately, on their own, were told that they need to share the story of the 10 virgins. Then, in president Nelson's conference address that he said and this is really telling is that he said the following he said now, this is in October of 2024. So this is within the last 12 months. But he says, brothers and sisters, now is the time for you and for me to prepare for the second coming of our Lord and Savior, jesus Christ. Now is the time for us to make our discipleship our highest priority.

Speaker 1 9:22

So it's interesting because there is a massive and there's other quotes that came up today in church from President Nelson about like listen, I don't know when he's coming, all I know is I'm supposed to tell you it's time to get ready. Right now there is an urgency and there's always been to some degree since I've been a member of the church, but not like this and this story comes up over and over again and then authentically Heather. I feel like the story is pretty straightforward, which means I'm probably missing a lot that's going behind it. So I'm trying to figure out what it is that I'm missing about the story other than just a reminder that I need to put oil in my lamp. Honestly, I'm just being authentic.

Speaker 2 9:57

Well, one way to start looking at the story is to look at all of the. A lot of times we focus on the story and we focus on the difference between the five wise and the five foolish.

Speaker 1 10:08

Yeah, okay.

Speaker 2 10:09

But there are so many similarities, so remember that you have.

Speaker 2 10:14

You know, all 10 were invited to this wedding and all 10 took their lamps and went and waited and all 10 waited like hours and hours and they all 10 fell asleep while they were waiting, like there was.

Speaker 2 10:31

There's this part of the story that is really, uh, unifying, in that all 10 and you know, when the bridegroom came, all 10 got up and they were, they thought they were ready, you know, and it was just that at that moment, at that critical moment, five were ready and five were not. And it's a mistake to look at this parable and think that the difference between them is the oil and the lamps, because, ultimately, what Jesus Christ says to the five foolish who did not have enough oil is that you didn't know me, and that is that's the difference, is that it's about relationship, it's about the relationship. And so when we talk about the oil in our lamps, I mean you can make a lot of comparisons to that oil, but it's relationship building and those, every drop of oil matters, and those drops of oil are experiences, witnesses from the Holy Ghost and experiences with our Savior that provide a relationship. And yeah, I don't know if that makes sense.

Speaker 1 11:50

No, I think that's so beautiful. I'm in this like deep thought around what you just said, because I love that. It's about the relationship.

Speaker 1 11:59

I think the part that kind of kind of is gnawing at me a little bit right now is the idea that all the virgins were doing a lot of obedient things. So it kind of goes back to that, that example of the Samaritan where you know people were coming back from Jerusalem like we're leaving the temple and one of the three, and back then the Samaritans were seen as less than right. So it's like he, the savior, used that intentionally in that example to show that, like the least of all of you, the people that you judge to be the worst kind of human being, is the hero in the story because they're doing. It's their actions that matter and it's the relationship to that injured person that matters. So for me I'm looking at this from a place of like, where am I? I'm just internally going, what am I doing in my life? That is like the five foolish that are doing all the things but not doing it from a place of relationship setting.

The Oil Represents Relationship

Speaker 2 12:50

Yeah, like maybe going through the motions, right yeah, which we all probably have areas in our lives that we are going through the motions, and there's a difference between that and maybe areas in our lives or things that we do where we're intentionally trying to build relationship or we're intentionally trying to invite the Holy ghost into those experiences, and so there's definitely a lesson there for all of us, because I like that point that you made, that there are, there are so many actions, there's so many actions in this story, you know, yeah. So yeah, like what's? What is the difference?

Speaker 1 13:27

Yeah, and it's in in. In some ways it's comforting, as much as that was incomplete for me and it started to feel like a therapy session between the two of us. I there's this thing about, like you know, what does that relationship look like, you know, and it goes. It goes beyond checking a list, you know, did I read, did I say my prayers this morning versus did I commune with my father? And sometimes that looks like more on the road to work than, like you know, a specific kneeling in prayer which, by the way, I'm all about kneeling in prayer.

Speaker 1 13:57

But I'm saying that the greater priority isn't the action, it's the connection, is what I'm hearing from you and how we can connect to the savior in that way.

Speaker 1 14:07

You know, tying it back to the temple, I think that's why it's another reason why frequent temple attendance is so valuable, because everything there testifies of him.

Speaker 1 14:18

So when we're there in that space and we're separated, and we've ascended the mountain and we're separate from all the day-to-day cares of the world, for at least a little bit, if give ourselves time, by the way, because I've also checked that box a few times, if you know what I mean but when I'm in the temple for a long period of time and I'm really open to like learning. All I do is think about the Savior, because that's all you're learning about is about his love, right? Or you're in the celestial room and you're reminded of the peace that he brings, or whatever. That might be what is needed that day. So there is something comforting about the idea that, like, the relationship to the Savior is all that's needed to be welcome into that room. But again, it's a balance of, like the actions and the motivations. Are we doing it to check a box and to fit in? Are we so just wrapped up in our own world internally, or are we really doing these things as an effort to connect with the savior? For me, it's all the above.

Speaker 2 15:13

Yeah, and sometimes we go through those motions and we create, you know, holy rhythms and holy patterns, and we create those things by doing them and sometimes that intention comes after. So there's, you know, there's nothing wrong with being at a stage of life where you're maybe just going through those motions because duty or obedience, or I think that this is going to lead to something else, you know, because that is, that is a process, you know, and this parable is hard sometimes, I think, to relate to, because this is taking place in like one night, right, like it's like a really short timeframe, and the Lord is giving us so much longer, you know, he's giving us so much longer to learn and to grow and to gather those experiences, drop by drop you know, he's not giving us one night to pull it together.

Speaker 1 16:05

Thank you for the balance on that. I appreciate your counter perspective on that piece because it does sometimes just feel like I don't want to be caught in that position where I don't have my recommend when our nephew is, you know, all of a sudden, you know, going through the temple. I want, I don't, I think we just all want to be there and be included in that that journey for sure. And, yeah, I love the fact that the Lord has infinite time, infinite time, and so he's going to give us everything we need to be able to have every opportunity to come back home.

Speaker 2 16:35

Yeah, um, I love this quote. Actually, this came from um Elder Kevin Pearson, from actually 2022. But his conference talk also referenced the parable of the 10 versions and he says this the central purpose of every commandment, principle, covenant and ordinance is to build faith and trust in Christ. And then he says this a little bit farther down Discipleship is not cheap, because the companionship of the Holy Ghost is priceless.

Speaker 1 17:03

That's cool, isn't?

Speaker 2 17:05

that a great quote.

Speaker 1 17:06

That is great. It's priceless, so it's not cheap. Wow, you know one thing that's hard in this story for me, the parable is that I have my own journey around that for myself. What's hard is when I look. It's not hard. It can be challenging when I look about how this parable applies to our kids, how, as someone who I believe is trying to put oil in my lamp, I'm also responsible. That's the thing that's not part of the story. I'd like a version of the Ten Virgins. I'd like a version of the Ten Vir virgin, a version of the 10 virgins. I'd like a version of the 10 virgin story to be about like the 10 virgins, with their kids with them, but they wouldn't anyway, like the idea of being that, like comedy right, but just this idea that there's other people that they'd be in charge of.

Speaker 1 17:57

Like, as a parent, I've got these four, four kids. You know something about those boys, like the fact that we have these kids together and we're we're in charge of them and they've got to put oil in their lamps and, you know, learning, I don't know. It's just that I think that's a different layer to this story that I would love some additional, you know, discussion on or some revelation on, just because it's like there's that art experience, but it's also being in charge to a degree, until they become adults, of their story as well.

Speaker 2 18:27

Yeah.

Speaker 1 18:27

And that's a totally different part angle of the story is being on that, that end of it.

Speaker 2 18:33

So I don't know. I don't know what your experience is on that or how you feel about, you know, helping our kids prepare to have oil in their lamps, but yeah, I mean, um, there's, there's a lot of maybe different angles that you could look at it, Like you could look at this parable and you could look at the 10 virgins and you could look at them and be like what were their parents like?

Speaker 1 18:56

Right.

Speaker 2 18:57

Like what do you think that there's parents were doing or saying at home that maybe led to them being in this experience?

Speaker 1 19:06

Yeah.

Parenting and Oil in Lamps

Speaker 2 19:07

Um, it's tricky because part of the parable talks about that whale not able to be shared. You know, remember that you had five foolish virgins that wanted to be there and they're like share your oil. And the five wise are like we can't, right. And so that can kind of sound scary because as a parent, you want to be able to, like, haul your kid you know what I mean to wherever they need to be. And you know, like, don't worry if you don't have enough oil, I have some for both of us. And this is a parable where it's a very individual. This conversion is individual.

Speaker 1 19:53

Yeah, and it's an interesting process when we think about I love that, you said that because here's what came to mind that there's a process to getting oil Right. We Now I love that you said that because here's what came to mind that there's a process to getting oil right. We were in Jerusalem. We had the chance to see the giant stone wheels that they used to press the presses where they would press in the pressure, and that's a big metaphor in and of itself of the Savior right man.

Speaker 1 20:14

This is all coming together a little bit because it's not an easy thing to get the oil. It takes work, Like you quoted. It's because the easy thing to get the oil it takes work, Like you quoted, it's because the companion of the ship of the Holy Ghost is priceless. So the process of getting oil is this mortality. It's the challenges and the trials that we go through, and so we have to go through some of these trials to get that connection to the Savior, going back to that piece of it. So the oil and the lamp is a representation of the relationship. That's what you said. And then I'm realizing, oh yeah, but to get the oil it's usually challenges and hardships, it's what brings us to the Savior, and so, as a parent, I think I'm going to reframe the challenges my kids go through differently because of this discussion, Right.

Speaker 1 21:00

Like yes, it's hard when our kids do things Like. I was a little bit torn up when our youngest son, Van, went to China for his scholarship. He's coming home tonight as we're recording this, we will sleep better when he is home.

Speaker 1 21:12

But he was out there, being pressed, making his own oil in some ways, leaving home, going through that challenge of having to connect with others, relying upon his savior for comfort. Our son, who's on a mission In his own way. He's out, being pressed, but he's making oil which is a connection to the savior, and boy has that been a wonderful miracle to watch as our son has started to quote scriptures to us and explain things that I never saw. But it's just maybe it's a framing. For me it's more about like, first of all, letting them go through it.

Speaker 1 21:45

I think that's oftentimes as parents we want to go through and take that challenge away from them, but oftentimes they need to be pressed, they need to go through those trials and sometimes they're scary ones, like friends of ours who, kids, have gone through cancer or epilepsy or whatever that might be, never to minimize the hardship of that. And God's in charge, he goes through these things. We have our own experiences with health challenges Like there's a closeness that comes to the Savior after being pressed in that way in this life. That builds that oil which is a representation of the connection to our savior. And so, yeah, I mean I've never thought of it before like that, but maybe one of the best things we can do for our kids is to let them turn to the savior and, just like you said, model it. Model it as we do it ourselves.

Letting Children Face Challenges

Speaker 2 22:36

Yeah, that's such a great point. Just that that journey, that that press and that that drop by drop you know type of mentality where you know it's a process. You know also this lesson that the five whys had taken the Holy Spirit for their guide. How the Holy Ghost looking for, how the Holy Ghost speaks to them, how they feel, how they're prompted or warned or what it feels like you know to have the Holy Ghost testify of truth. You know the Holy Ghost has all these roles. So I think the more that we as parents, um, can invite our kids into that relationship with the Holy Ghost, I think that also creates that connection and that relationship to their Savior.

Speaker 1 23:44

You mentioned something earlier, heather, about confidence in the Lord. I studied this path of how to build confidence and it's tying into what you're saying. The path starts with a commitment that later results in having to have courage. That results in increasing capability, and that capability is what develops the confidence Like. That's the four Cs of confidence, as I was taught and what you're talking about as we look at our children helping them develop helping them develop isn't the right words. Helping them, drop by drop, get oil in their lamps is that, when they are going through those challenges, is by turning it back on them when we can. It's not that we aren't empathetic and listen and connect, but I think there's something about these opportunities to ask them well, have you talked to the Lord about it? What does the Lord want you to do? Or how do you feel? What do you think the Lord wants you to do about it? Have you prayed about it? Do you?

Speaker 2 24:41

know the Lord can help you with that.

Speaker 1 24:43

Yeah.

Speaker 2 24:43

Right, there's such great questions that, uh yeah, can help as tools as parents.

Speaker 1 24:49

Yeah, I think it comes after connecting and empathizing like man. That must be hard. I can really relate to that. I had an experience. But then it's like what do you think the Lord wants you to do about that? And I think what that does is a couple of things. Obviously, it points them towards the Savior, where they're going to get the oil, and that means that we don't get that glory.

Speaker 1 25:07

By the way, that's the temptation is if we can come in and swoop in and save the day. We feel good about ourselves. But that's just selfishness. That's not what parents should do, although I've been guilty of that.

Speaker 1 25:21

It's the idea that we are allowing them to find confidence in the Lord which is the coolest thing, because, unlike anything else, when they turn to the Lord, that's the only person they can turn to. That not only does it develop confidence in the Lord, but it also results reciprocally into developing confidence in themselves, because that's the most beautiful part of the magic and the miracle of working with the Lord on problems is that we gain self-confidence as we develop confidence in depending on the Lord. It's a total paradox. We're learning greater dependency on Jesus, which gives us greater confidence in ourselves. That's the only way that we can, as parents, really help them experience that, but also recognizing that it's okay, that, like they have that rock, like the brother of Jared, in their own ship, it's just hard to be on the shore watching them with the waves crashing on them. That's really rough as a parent. But you know you've got to trust, going back to Abraham and Isaac, trust that there will be a ram in the thicket for them as well.

Speaker 2 26:22

Yeah, I love that.

Speaker 1 26:23

Well, heather, thank you so much. This has been amazing conversation that we've had. Obviously, this will be a multi-part video that we'll release in various episodes because it's been so lengthy. But talking about the relationship between mountains and temples and the journey, and then how that relates to preparation for the second coming and the 10 virgins, um, what would be some of your final thoughts as we wrap things up?

Helping Children Build Confidence in Christ

Speaker 2 26:49

Um, I just love, you know, as we talked about just the parable of the 10 virgins and these conference talks that referenced it Um, I especially loved Elder Renlund's talk about personal preparation to meet the Savior and he of course references the parable and at the end of the talk he gives a really great invitation and I think this is I just love the wording of this and his invitation is to follow Jesus Christ and to trust the Holy Ghost as you would a cherished friend. Follow Jesus Christ and to trust the Holy Ghost as you would a cherished friend. And I thought that was such a great descriptor for the Holy Ghost. And I had a chance to have a conversation with some friends about that specifically and we talked about like that term, cherished friend. You know, like how would you describe a cherished friend?

Speaker 2 27:38

And we had kind of come up with some ideas like, well, a cherished friend is somebody who has your back and somebody who knows you best and somebody who doesn't judge you. And a cherished friend is somebody whose voice you probably hear in your head, you know, and maybe you kind of call on that voice, you know, when you need maybe some strength or you need to maybe change. And I just loved thinking about the Holy Ghost in that role and I think that that is, you know, it's another way that we're adding oil to our lamps is that we are treating the Holy Ghost like a cherished friend, because the Holy Ghost is going to lead us to Jesus Christ, like a cherished friend because the Holy Ghost is going to lead us to Jesus Christ. And I just would say I am filled with trust. I think that is the greatest part of the journey that I've experienced in the temple. I am filled with trust. God sends the help we need, and the best is yet to come.

Speaker 1 28:52

The best is yet to come. Thank you so much for tuning in to Temple Bound. As always, this is Will letting you know that with each step to the temple, we draw closer to Christ. Thanks for tuning in, until next time. Thank you for listening to today's episode of Temple Bound. If you enjoyed today's content, please leave a review and share the episode with others so that people who are looking for this information can find it. Thank you again for listening. Until next time.